Something historic happened today. I held a baby. I’m 50 years old, and today is the first time I held a baby. That I can remember. Maybe sometime in my past a baby was forced into my arms, but I have no memory of it. I certainly never initiated an act of baby-holding. I would tell people, “I don’t do babies.”

But nine days ago, Allen and Carolyn moved into our spare bedroom with their 2.5-month-old son Connor. I’ve been absolutely captivated by him, and little actions and sounds from Connor reach out and grab my heart in ways I can’t explain. I’ll sit on the couch and watch Allen play with Conner, manipulating his tiny hands and feet and letting Connor kick him in the chest, while talking nonsense in an attempt to evoke a response. Preferably a smile. Connor does smiles real well.

I can’t say I was ever captivated by any of my brothers’ kids when they were babies. Not Curt, Paula, Benjamin, Jonathan, Anna, or Cameron. Now I’m wondering what I missed. While the rest of my family members swapped time holding a baby, I steadfastly avoided any appearance of being in line for my turn. Sorry, Stu and Joyce and Rick and Dorene, but your kids just didn’t do anything for me.

But now, we have Connor in the house for the foreseeable future. I didn’t know for sure how I would feel about having a baby around, this little package of unknown quantity. But I’ve watched Pam and Carolyn and Allen holding and enjoying Connor, and gradually the thought built up, “I’d like to hold him sometime.”

I got my chance this afternoon. We volunteered to watch Connor while Allen took Carolyn to work at 1:30. Company was coming over, and Pam had a little more cleaning she wanted to do. So she left me to watch Connor while she finished up. He sat propped up in the corner of the loveseat, and we carried on a conversation for a while. But then he became discontent laying in that position. And so I gladly swooped him up, holding him on my shoulder, and he found new contentment.

Pam, of course, rushed out to take a picture of this spectacular event in our universe, so she could show it to my family, who would undoubtedly find it astounding. But she needn’t have rushed. This will happen many, many more times.