I found this on Reddit.

Best Buy: See it in person before you buy it on Amazon.
Carnival Cruise: What are the chances something will happen this time?
Costco: When you’re not sure what you want, but you know you want a LOT of it.
Radio Shack: Would you like some batteries with that? Pretty please?
Internet Explorer: Your number one browser for downloading other browsers
Google: You know we’re just a step away from creating Skynet.
1 800 Flowers: the cheapest way to say you remembered your anniversary an hour ago.
Trojan: Tuition is very expensive.
Barnes & Noble: We don’t have it, but we can order it. But so can you, and cheaper.
Gamestop: We’ll give you 6 bucks for that 60 dollar game you bought yesterday
Fiji: It costs a lot to make a square bottle.
Denny’s: Because its 2 am, you’re drunk, and you need pancakes.
Adobe: An update is available
Motel 6: We will leave the lights on for you because we are in a dangerous neighborhood!
Dasani: Italian for “Coke just sold you water”
Walmart: Home of 53 registers, with only 3 open!
Facebook: We know more about you than you do
Blockbuster: Remember us?
Applebee’s: For when you’re too lazy to prepare your own frozen food
White Castle: It’s Food…Technically.
Comcast: Rewarding loyal customers with ever-increasing rates since 1963.