We often hear really lame apologies, especially from politicians and celebrities after they do or say stupid things. Sometimes you can’t even call them real apologies. Like, “I deeply regret that people totally misunderstood what I said.” Or, “I had been drinking and can’t remember what I said, but I apologize for whatever I did that upset people.” Or, “I’m sorry if you were offended.” Or, “I want to apologize for not choosing my words more carefully.”
Jason Cundy, a former British soccer player, showed how to do it right. Mostly.
Vicki Sparks became the first woman on British TV to provide commentary on a World Cup soccer game. Jason Cundy didn’t like that. “I prefer to hear a male voice when watching football.” Especially at dramatic points in the game, “that moment needs to be done with a slightly lower voice.”
Cundy took a gob of criticism. And he responded with a real apology.
“I want to sincerely apologise for the comments I made on Good Morning Britain. I came away realising just how foolish and out of order they were and how I deserved the backlash I have received. There are times when you have to hold your hands up and admit you are wrong and have been an idiot–and this is definitely one of those times. I regret the comments and also the hurt and anger they causes. I realize there is absolutely on place for these demeaning attitudes towards female commentators, and I’m truly sorry.”
He put that out on Twitter. The next step would be to contact her personally and apologize (which perhaps he did).
Abraham Lincoln privately questioned a battlefield tactic of General U.S. Grant, but never expressed it to Grant. He later sent Grant a letter, apologizing for something Grant wasn’t even aware of. “I now wish to make the personal acknowledgment that you were right, and I was wrong.” That’s a big man.