Today, a very brief lesson to correct a common punctuation mistake.

Since I only have one wife:

Right: I went to a movie with my wife, Pam.
Wrong: I went to a movie with my wife Pam.

However, I have multiple brothers. Therefore:

Right: I went to a movie with my brother Rick.
Wrong: I went to a movie with my brother, Rick.

Today, blessed students, let us consider Pronouns for God. I capitalized “pronouns” because we’re talking about Divinity-related pronouns, not run-of-the-mill pronouns. Some people think that’s what you should do. So let’s talk about it.

When you refer to God or Jesus, should you capitalize He, Him, and His? You, Your, and You’re? Who, Whose, and Whom? Me, my, and Mine when Jesus refers to himself? (“Yet, not My will but Yours be done.”)

Many of you were taught in Sunday school that, should you not pay proper respect by capitalizing God-pronouns, you cannot go to Heaven. I, regrettably, have no objective proof one way or the other, so don’t hold me responsible for what happens in your after-life.

However, as an editor I had to make a decision. Over 30 years ago, soon after I became my denomination’s editor, I changed our practice by opting against capitalizing. (I sort of phased it in, with a period of inconsistency, trepidation, and constant second-guessing.) During the past 30 years, I have removed thousands of capitalizations from copy submitted to me, and have thereby placed unnumbered souls in jeopardy.

I take comfort in being aligned with most popular stylebooks, and with most Bibles. Not that popular practice determines righteousness.

Capitalizing isn’t right or wrong. It’s a matter of personal preference. Decide, and be consistent. A few Bible translations capitalize, most don’t. Editors with very conservative audiences capitalize more often. My audience is conservative, but I have not yet been burned at the stake (I leave room for the possibility), so apparently room exists for tolerance.

Some people, wanting to earn even grander crowns in heaven, capitalize everything pertaining to God. Like attributes when they refer to God or Jesus–Almighty, Just, Loving, etc. “Our God is an Awesome God.” You have the Babe lying in a Manger–not just any manger, but Christ’s Manger. You have Angels and demons, Heaven and hell. But where do you draw the line? Extend it to the Bread He broke, the Water He walked on, the Donkey He rode, the Place He is going to prepare? It can get nuts.

Much easier to just lower-case everything. It has removed much stress from my life, at least until I must give an accounting in Heaven.

In Hebrew, one of the Bible’s original languages, capitalizing wasn’t an issue, because Hebrew doesn’t have upper-case and lower-case letters–just an alphabet. So Moses and David didn’t capitalize pronouns for God, yet seemed to remain in God’s good graces. The early English Bibles (Wycliffe, Tyndale, Geneva, King James) didn’t capitalize pronouns for God. The NASB and the New King James capitalize pronouns for God, but nearly every other contemporary version doesn’t (look up John 3:16 on BibleGateway.com and compare).

Capitalizing isn’t meant to show respect. It’s to differentiate something specific from something generic. We’ve got the church on the corner, and the universal Church. There are gods, and there is God. There are college presidents, and the President. Capital letters are a communication tool. Don’t sanctify them.

I do capitalize titles given to God or Jesus–Son of God, the Lord of Hosts, the King of Kings, the Good Shepherd, etc. But pronouns are different.

In some contexts, like a letter going out from a specific person, I will leave the capitalizations in because they are a reflection of that person. But in any official publications, either in print or on the web, lower-case rules my day.

Capitalizing deity pronouns presents problems. In Luke 22, the guards are beating and mocking Christ, and say these words, “Prophesy! Who hit you?” Should “you” be capitalized, since it refers to Jesus? But then, that would imply that the guard recognized Jesus as divine: “Who hit You?” See the conflict?

A similar situation occurs a few verses later, when Pilate asks, “Are You the king of the Jews?” Pilate wouldn’t have viewed Jesus as divine, so why add divinity to his use of the word “you” (as the NASB and NKJV do). There are numerous other examples.

Using lower-case prevents much hand-wringing.

However, don’t feel like you need to change your practice. I don’t want to cause you to stumble. Just because I eat meat offered to idols doesn’t mean you should violate your conscience by doing so.

That’s more than enough on that. Class dismissed.

Today, I’ve called this special weekend class to address a serious writing problem: pomposity.

The principle (not rule) is: write to express, not to impress. Your goal is to communicate as clearly as possible. If being artful helps, be artful. But never choose your words with the goal of impressing people with your sophistication, command of the language, or learnedness.

A related principle is, “Prefer the simple to the complex.”

Press briefings by policemen and military personnel always amuse me. They love the word “utilize,” as in, “We will utilize every resource available.” In every other context of their lives, it’s “use.” But put them in front of a microphone, and they apparently feel “utilize” better conveys their authority. I suspect that in the military, promotions have been denied and careers ended because something said “use” instead of “utilize.”

So, don’t write in your bulletin, “Our church utilizes the New International Version.”

Here are other examples–the complex word, followed by the word you should use most of the time.

modify – change
optimum – best
demonstrate – show
terminate – end
magnitude – size
approximately – about
commence – start
facilitate – help
close proximity – near

Can’t you just hear a police commissioner, in a press conference about some tragic event, using nearly all of those more complex words? As an editor, I continually make such changes (not modifications) to people’s writing. Prefer the simpler word, which is usually the one with fewer syllables.

Mark Twain, referring to freelance writing for which you are paid by the words, once wrote, “I never write ‘metropolis’ for seven cents, because I can get the same money for ‘city.’ I never write ‘policeman,’ because I can get the same price for ‘cop.'”

All of this also applies to speaking. To best communicate to your audience, write–and speak–in ordinary language. Don’t broadcast your insecurity by using big words to try to impress people.

That’s it, class. Now, go ye into the world and communicate as simply and clearly as possible. Unless you’re writing an academic paper, in which case it’s permissible, if not requisite, to be a pompous fool.

Today, class, let’s talk about currency numbers.

For instance: “The registration cost is $250.00.” Lose the decimals, or I’ll lose them for you. Just write, “The registration cost is $250.” Besides, it kinda makes the number look like 250,000. Especially avoid this on the web, where periods tend to get lost on low-resolution screens.

Certainly never write, “He won $1,000,000.00!”

How many times have churches sent me a news article with something like this: “We collected $800.00 for missions.” I’ve edited out hundreds of nothings.

If there’s nothing there–no cents–then there’s no reason to point it out. That’s why you write, “The length was 24.2 inches,” and not “The length was 24.2000000 inches.” The extra zeros communicate, literally, nothing.

That’s all for today, class. You may go.