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The Green Thing

I came across this piece, titled “The Green Thing,” on Facebook. It’s apparently been circulating for a while, and I have no idea who originally wrote it.

In the line at the store, the cashier told an older woman that she should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags weren’t good for the environment.

The woman apologized to her and explained, “We didn’t have the green thing back in my day.”

The clerk responded, “That’s our problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment.”

She was right — our generation didn’t have the green thing in its day.

Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they really were recycled.

But we didn’t have the green thing back in our day.

We walked up stairs, because we didn’t have an escalator in every store and office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn’t climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks.

But she was right. We didn’t have the green thing in our day.

Back then, we washed the baby’s nappies because we didn’t have the throw-away kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy gobbling machine burning up 220 volts — wind and solar power really did dry the clothes. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing. But that lady is right; we didn’t have the green thing back in our day.

Back then, we had one TV, or radio, in the house — not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of the state of Montana.

In the kitchen, we blended and stirred by hand because we didn’t have electric machines to do everything for us.

When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used a wadded up old newspaper to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap.

Back then, we didn’t fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn’t need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity.

But she’s right; we didn’t have the green thing back then.

We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water.

We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull.

But we didn’t have the green thing back then.

Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus and kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service.

We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn’t need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 2,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest pizza joint.

But isn’t it sad the current generation laments how wasteful we old folks were just because we didn’t have the green thing back then?

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Jay Pharoah as Obama: I’m Not Impressed

Jay Pharoah as Barack Obama

For several years, I have griped about Fred Armisen’s impersonation of Barack Obama on Saturday Night Live. In the 2012 season opener, Jay Pharoah (my choice for a replacement) finally assumed that role.

And I was not impressed.

Disappointed, in fact. I’m becoming a hard-to-please, cranky old man.

(But maybe he’ll get better. Fred Armisen definitely wasn’t getting better.)

 

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Female Icons in Advertising

Advertising Age magazine picked the Top 10 Female Ad Icons of all time. Chronologically, they include:

  • The Morton Salt Umbrella Girl (1914).
  • Betty Crocker (1921).
  • Miss Chiquita (Chiquita bananas, 1914).
  • Rosie the Riveter (1943).
  • Josephine the Plumber (Comet Cleanser, 1963).
  • Mrs. Olson (Folgers, 1963).
  • Madge the Manicurist (Palmolive, 1966).
  • Rosie the Waitress (Bounty, 1970s).
  • The incomparable Clara Peller (Wendy’s, 1984).

But I am most excited to see, on this prestigious Top Ten list, one of my personal all-time favorites: Flo the Progressive girl.

Are they missing anyone? All I can think of is Aunt Jemima and Mrs. Buttersworth. I think Aunt Jemima deserves to be in the Top Ten.

Back in 1999, Advertising Age did a list of the Top Ten Advertising Icons of the Century--man, woman, or animal. Aunt Jemima DID make that list. So she definitely should have been among the top women. That list was:

  • The Marlboro Man
  • Ronald McDonald
  • Green Giant
  • Betty Crocker
  • Energizer Bunny
  • Pillsbury Doughboy
  • Aunt Jemima
  • Michelin Man
  • Tony the Tiger
  • Elsie (Borden dairy products)
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Still Pondering the Roberts Ruling

From the Old News Department: I’m still shaking my head over the Supreme Court ruling regarding Obamacare. Why? Because I still don’t understand John Roberts’ rationale for upholding the mandate of the Affordable Care Act.

I’m in favor of universal healthcare, but the reasoning doesn’t compute for me. All this hairsplitting about tax and penalty, with Obama insisting it’s a penalty when it needs to be a tax for Roberts to uphold it, but if it’s a tax, then….we’ve got an infinite loop.

Now, most people, according to an informal poll, contend that John Roberts is smarter than I am. Close, but he has the edge. True, I possess a prestigious degree from Huntington University in the rigorous discipline of Communications. Nevertheless, the pedestrian Law degree Roberts obtained from Harvard is considered to be superior. Go figure.

Nevertheless, intellectual peon that I allegedly am, I continue to be a bit baffled. I’m glad, at least, that the ruling makes sense to Justice Roberts.

I just got around to reading, from the July 16 edition of Time magazine, reactions from four previous solicitors general. The first one, by Ted Olson, was brilliant and funny. He has fun with all the mental twists and turns, and I just had to admire the creativity of his writing. Read it here.

(Actually, I’ve read quite a bit about the ruling. While Roberts’ rationale eludes me to an extent, I’m fascinated by what he was trying to prevent from happening, and the role he sees for the Supreme Court. But I’m not going to go into that.)

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WASP Prevention

I found this interesting when I heard it. For the first time in American history, there are no WASPS–white Anglo-Saxon Protestants–on the presidential ballot. We have a black Protestant, a white Mormon, and two white Catholics.

Interesting. I have no conclusions to draw.

Well, maybe one. We celebrate being a melting pot country. The fact that we’re tasting more than one spice seems positive.

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Categorizing Attitudes Toward Christianity

Faith Today, a Canadian magazine, ran an article about the state of Christianity in Canada. It categorized people in an interesting way.

  • Engagers (23 percent): Have a positive view of Christianity and still regularly engage with a church.
  • Fence Sitters (36 percent): Have generally positive views of the faith, but they have made choices inconsistant with church teachings and therefore remain at a distance.
  • Wanderers (26 percent): May think the church has a positive role in society, but it’s not for them. They do not agree with the church’s views on moral and social issues.
  • Rejecters (15 percent): Although half say they were raised in the church, they now reject religion and identify as atheists.

The percentages apply only to Canada, which is more progressive and secular than America. I would guess we have more engagers, but I’m not sure which of the other categories would be smaller. The “Rejecters,” by all accounts, are rapidly increasing in number in the US.

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That Muslim Movie, Freedom of Speech, and Reality

I finally got around to watching the trailer to the infamous “Innocence of Muslims” movie (I don’t get the title). The filmmaker, apparently a scoundrel who deceived everyone involved, succeeded in making something as offensive as possible to Muslims. And cheesy, too. Junior-high calibre, at best.

I remember the controversy over Martin Scorcese’s “The Last Temptation of Christ.” That was certainly offensive to my faith. But despite the deserved public uproar, it didn’t go beyond that–no storming of Scorcese’s home, no rioting, etc. In America, we’ve learned to respond to offensive free speech with more free speech. Call it “yelling at each other.”

But that’s in America, where we’ve had nearly 250 years of practice with the “free speech” concept. It won’t catch on anytime soon in Arab countries. So this movie raises questions of a practical nature which go beyond our cherished First Amendment. Practical in the “Don’t yell FIRE in a crowded theater” sense.

We’re at the intersection of several things:

  1. Freedom of speech.
  2. Religious tolerance/bigotry.
  3. Public safety.
  4. International relations.

We know that depicting or demeaning Muhammed–forbidden by Islam–can inflame Muslim passions and endanger Americans abroad. So…what do we do? Allow it? Censor it?

Put aside the issue of what caused the initial attacks in Egypt and Libya–the movie, or the 9/11 anniversary (it was the anniversary). At the present time, a week after those events, the issue is definitely the movie.

Obviously, the Muslim reaction is wrong, period. But this is the world we live in. It is what it is.

The pragmatic reality is that such movies CAN put people’s lives and property at risk–American diplomats, missionaries, tourists, businesspersons. Such is our world. Is that a price we’re willing to pay for our values? I’m guessing it is, because the alternative is censorship. Nobody ever said freedom was free.

There is ample room for discussion. I lean toward allowing junk like this movie, and suffering the consequences…but with nagging reservations. I might feel differently if I were an American living overseas. What say you?

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The Swimming Pool in the Sky

The Holiday Inn Shanghai built a glass-bottomed swimming pool on the 24th floor which protrudes over the edge of the building. So while swimming underwater, you can look down to the street far, far below.

Great, that’s all I need–to experience a vertigo attack while underwater.

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Show Me the Calories!

When Pam and I visited California last October, I noticed how restaurants always posted the number of calories in each food item on the menu. I really liked that. It definitely affected what I ordered. There were items I might have ordered but, upon seeing the calorie count, opted for something else. True, I was gonna buy an In and Out Burger no matter how many calories it had, because I wanted to see what all the fuss was about (and it was worth it). But for other foods, I appreciated knowing how it might affect my waistline.

This was a state law in California, as it is in some other states and cities (notably, New York City). Some people argue that it represents far too much intrusiveness by government, and there’s a point to be made there. Government defaults toward intrusiveness. But considering the healthcare costs of poor nutrition (diabetes, heart disease, etc.), some of which society inevitably picks up (with or without Obamacare), I approve of calorie counts.

Now I see that McDonald’s will begin including calorie counts in about 14,000 restaurants nationwide. For a while now, their website has posted a complete ingredient breakdown for all McDonald’s foods. Kudos to them. But now we’ll be able to see the calorie count while standing in the checkout line.

Not that McDonald’s has been the standard-bearer for healthy eating. That’s like recognizing Congress for its workplace politeness and sensitivity. McDonald’s knows, of course, that a national law is coming (no date has been set yet) when all larger chains must include calorie counts. So they are just getting out there ahead of the curve, trying to win low-cal brownie points. Yet, I applaude them.

The result may be that, the next time I go to McDonald’s, I look over the menu, note the calorie counts…and go right back out the door. Because I’m confronted with the glaring reality that everything I like isn’t good for me.

A mandated calorie count may also make restaurants more reluctant to introduce new high-calorie items. Imagine ad campaigns where restaurants brag about how FEW calories their foods have.

Now, if they could just include the salt content, too. As a person with Miniere’s disease, I carefully examine all food labels to check the sodium content, lest vertigo come knocking. This is crucial to my health. But you can’t include everything. A friend of mine is allergic to corn. You can’t ask restaurants to identify the amount of corn syrup and other derivatives used in every menu item. So, on a practical basis, I’m content just putting the calorie content. For everything else–you’re on your own. That seems reasonable.

Slate.com published a good article about this back in March 2011. However, the article mentioned several studies that show, in places where calorie counts were already mandatory, it hadn’t changed people’s eating habits. Especially in poor neighborhoods. People were consuming as many calories as before.

In one study, just over half of the people said they actually noticed the calorie information. (The same people, I assume, also walk in front of speeding cars.) Only 15% said it affected their choices. The latter 15% averaged 106 calories less than everyone else.

But hey–if only 15% of consumers use the calorie information, that’s a good start. Nothing is universal right off the bat.

I’m definitely, and proudly, in that 15%. And 15% of a population of 300 million–that’s 45 million people who pay attention. People who probably also–like me–examine food labels in grocery stores, and make buying decisions on that basis.

Changing eating habits won’t happen overnight. Educating people about the need to control caloric intake, and having the need actually sink into their skulls, will take a while. Perhaps the majority of folks will never catch on. But putting the information out there, in plain sight, is a good start. We can’t do much more than that. It ultimately comes down to people’s choices.

Unfortunately, it won’t suddenly make people start cooking more at home, or getting regular exercise. Sometimes it takes a heart attack to do that.

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Memo to Myself:

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