He’s a Pirate. Period.

All of the news reports are talking about the “alleged” Maersk Pirate. Is that really necessary?

The alleged pirate, who allegedly helped kidnap the alleged captain of the Maersk Alabama, allegedly an innocent merchant ship, allegedly arrived today in New York, which is allegedly in the state of New York, to allegedly face allegations of allegedly being the aforesaid alleged pirate, whose alleged good luck included not getting his alleged mediocre brains shot out by unallegedly expert Navy SEAL snipers.

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