I'll give you a hint: I'm in the front row.

I just read a review of “The Geeks Shall Inherit the Earth,” by Alexandra Robbins, in the New York Times Book Review. The book follows 7 “outsiders” from 7 different high schools, like the Band Geek, the New Girl, the Loner, the Gamer, the Nerd.

She describes them as the “cafeteria fringe,” the students sitting by themselves during lunch against the wall, or maybe even in the hallway, rather than carrying on with a group of friends at a table.

Robbins views many of the cafeteria fringe as nonconformists, as individualists, as free thinkers. She writes, “It is unacceptable that the system we rely on to develop children into well-adjusted, learned, cultured adults allows drones to dominate and increasingly devalues freethinkers.” She says kids may get bullied for being “different,” when it’s really only that they are self-aware, creative, think for themselves, resilient, passionate. They become outsiders. Interesting points.

Fortunately, it’s just for four years. Then they leave and make something significant of themselves, maybe.

Robbins also mentions an upcoming movie called “Revenge of the Jocks,” about high school athletes who, later in life, find themselves working for the nerds they abused in high school.

Celebrities like to brag about having been nerds, unpopular, during high school. I don’t always believe it, especially when it comes from people like Nicole Kidman and Angelina Jolie. But maybe that was the case. I can see Angelina Jolie–a very distinct, noncomforming personality–being an outsider.

I don’t figure on reading the book. But it took me back to my own high school years, which still have an unusual pull on me after 35 years.

My high school years were split in half–2 years in Lake Havasu City, Ariz., two years in Tulare, Calif., after our family entered the ministry. In Lake Havasu, I never thought about being an outsider. I had a great group of friends I hung out with, and I played on the basketball team. We had a regular table in the cafeteria.

But California was a real jolt. I basically went friendless for two years. I ate by myself in the courtyard as a junior, and was joined only by my brother Stu my senior year (he was a freshman then). I played one year of basketball, and two years of tennis (including team captain as a senior), so I had some entree into the jock world. But I was still a new guy in the school, and mostly a loner. I wasn’t picked on; being an athlete helps you avoid most of that. I just never had a “group” to hang out with.

There is absolutely nobody, beyond a couple of teachers (who are no doubt retired now), whom I would care to see from that high school. Nobody. But there are a number of people from Lake Havasu I would love to see again. And then there’s Huntington College, which brought me out of the desert and gave me treasured lifelong friends.

I don’t regret those two years of high school in California. I learned a lot about myself, and learned empathy for people on the social fringe. Besides, God wanted us in the ministry, so there was no choice about it–that was where God wanted me. Yes, I have scars, but they’ve mostly faded away, and I still wear them without regret.

And I suspect that some of those jocks and cheerleaders who dominated the tables in the cafeteria have not done much with their lives. At least, the carnal side of me hopes that’s the case.

The Presley Theater opened in 1967 on the Highway 76 strip--the first theater in Branson.

Jeerk, 5 Swedish guys who are incredible tap dancers, musicians, and percussion artists.

The show simply called "Six." They are six brothers singing acapella. Probably the top show in Branson.

Inside the Showboat Branson Belle.

Pam and I just returned from our fifth trip to Branson. That would be Branson, Mo. We went for the first time in 1999, not really knowing if we would enjoy it. But we fell in love with the place.

The next two times, in 2002 and 2004, we took my parents. Pam and I visited again in 2008. Then, this year, we took my parents again.

Branson, tucked away in the Ozark Mountains south of Springfield, is a somewhat magical place where traditional values prevail. There’s nothing like it. Branson sets squarely in Flyover America, the heartland. Everything is family friendly.

Branson offers something for everyone. There is Silver Dollar City, a family-oriented theme park. Three outlet malls. Numerous craft shops. Museums. Mini golf. But the reason most people come to Branson is for the shows which perform at over 50 theaters—music, drama, comedy, acrobatics…you name it.

There are acts by people you’ve heard of. The Osmonds, Bobby Vinton, Jim Stafford, Andy Williams, Mel Tillis, Yakov Smirnoff, Mickey Gilley, and many other celebrities, especially in country music, either have their own theaters in Branson or perform there regularly. But most of the shows—and, I would say, the best ones—are by folks you haven’t heard of until you visit Branson. Shows like:

The Presleys. The Hughes Brothers. Six. Shoji Tabuchi. The Brett Family. The Baldnobbers. And many more.

In almost every show, certain values are emphasized:

• The family. So many of the acts emphasize family values, and the best ones (the Presleys, Hughes Brothers, Six, and others) are predominantly family acts. Of all of the shows we’ve seen, only one show had anything off color (Ray Stevens, disappointingly). They keep it wholesome in Branson.
• Love for country. It’s nothing political, no digs at either Democrats or Republicans. Just good old fashioned patriotism.
• Appreciation for military vets. Nearly every show works in some patriotic music and asks military vets to stand, usually broken down according to branch. I’m always proud when Dad stands with other Army vets.
• Christianity. This is what really makes Branson magic. The performers talk about Christ and the importance of their faith. No apologies. You wouldn’t expect Christ to be exalted at one of America’s premier tourist places, but He is. Imagine that in Las Vegas!

This year, a member of Six said at the end of the show, “Branson is a place where we can talk about Jesus, where we speak well of our country, and where you can sing Gospel music.” They then closed with a beautiful acapella version of “Be Still My Soul.” I still have goosebumps thinking about it.

Yes, there are plenty of old people in Branson. But the visitors include many young people and young families, too. Several of the main acts, like Six and Jeerk, seem aimed at a younger audience (though I, at age 54, loved them, so maybe my definition of “younger” is messed up).

Thus far, we’ve seen 21 different shows in Branson, 7 of them more than once. Some of them have come and gone. This time, we saw seven shows during our three days in Branson:

• “Noah: the Musical.” Simply astounding! This play opened in 2008, and closes this summer. You just can’t believe what you’re seeing.
• “Hooray for Hollywood.” A high-energy song-and-dance tribute to great songs from Hollywood musicals and movies. We all loved it.
• “Jeerk.” Five amazingly talented young guys from Sweden in what was voted the Best New Show of 2010. A little bit of Stomp (turning just about anything into a percussion instrument), combined with the most innovative tap dancing you’ll ever see, plus superb music and lots of comedy. I’d drive to Sweden to watch these guys (who have performed around the world).
• “Circle B Chuckwagon Show.” A dinner show with a great meal, but a very disappointing show. The only sub-par act we saw this year. Nice Christian people, but….
• “The Presleys.” Our second time seeing what was the original show on the Branson strip, dating back to 1967. Members of the Presley family combine with a number of other superb singers and musicians. I’d see this show every time we visit Branson. It is everything Branson stands for—faith, family, country. They have the best piano player (by far!) that I’ve seen in Branson, the best Gospel quartet, and the best comedy (Herkimer and Cecil are just hysterical!). A well-oiled, professional show in every way.
• “Six.” Pam and I saw these six brothers in 2008. It’s an acapella show. You’d swear you’re hearing a full band, but every sound you hear comes from their mouths. They came to Branson in 2007 and were voted Best New Group. Ever since, they’ve been named the “Best Show” or “Entertainers of the Year.” Their tribute to their mother, who died of cancer at age 52 (after bearing TEN sons), will make you cry.
• “Showboat Branson Belle.” Pam and I took this cruise in 2008, and knew my parents would love it. Great food, and a wonderful program with music, comedy, and magic. True class all around.

I can’t get enough of Branson. After five trips there are still so many shows I’d like to see. By the time we return in 3 or 4 years, or maybe 2 years, there will be new acts and new theaters. I just hope Branson never loses its soul. I need a place like this to return to every once in a while.

Some of the eight teams in the finals.

One of the team tables. Most teams dressed up in interesting outfits. We didn't. Think about it--a table for an accounting firm? Don't ask for creativity.

A unicyclist showed up for the finals. (Thanks to whoever posted these photos on the Facebook page of the Fort Wayne Center for Learning)

Last Saturday night, Feb 26, Pam and I participated in “The Brain Game,” a big trivia contest which serves as a fundraiser for the local Fort Wayne Center for Learning. Pam’s firm, Christian Souers LLC, bought a table for ten, which got us entered.

They used a street carnival theme this year, and it worked well. Wander around and get hot pretzels, popcorn, peanuts, cotton candy, and even Eskimo pies–all for free (no doubt gift-in-kind donations from sponsors). The meal was a simple (but bountiful) hamburgers, hotdogs, chili, fries, onion rings, and slaw. We got serenaded by a wandering barbershop quartet.

Throughout the night, they interspersed a lot of other fun things–a unicyclist, juggler, dance group, ballet trio, and other things. This is, hands-down, the most fun you’ll ever have at a fundraiser.

Last year, I was on the four-person team that almost–ALMOST–won our 8-team round and the right to proceed to the finals. We came from behind to take the lead in the ten-question heat, but lost in overtime on about question 13 or 14. Bummer.

This year, they did it differently. The whole table of ten participated in the opening round, which went for 50 questions. There were 43 teams, and all competed against each other at the same time. The others gave me the clicker. The multiple-choice question would appear on the screen, and we had 15 seconds to punch in an answer. The top 6 teams would advance to the finals. They would be joined by the team voted as having the best outfits, and by the team that raised the most money for the Fort Wayne Center for Learning.

I thought we did pretty well.

We guessed right that Denmark had the world’s highest per-capita candy consumption. We knew that a giraffe’s tongue is black, and that Butler is in the Horizon conference. Pam knew that Obama went to Harvard. We knew there were no purple M&Ms. I knew that Congo was the only one of the four African countries listed–the others being Niger, Chad, and Burkina Fasao–that wasn’t landlocked.

Luke’s daughter Jaclyn, our one teenage member, got questions from Harry Potter and Hannah Montana. Jason Wilson knew that “Please Please Me” was the first song the Beatles released in America (most people picked “I Wanna Hold Your Hand”), and he knew that Ozzie Osborne’s first name was John. He also knew his Shakespeare–that Brutus committed suicide at the end of the play, and that a Shakespearean sonnet has 14 lines (I, a writer, didn’t know that).

After 25 questions, we were in 9th place. I thought we would be higher than that, but alas, the competition was stiff. To reach the finals, we had to be in the top 6. So for the second 25, we had to hunker down and focus.

We did well, nailing some difficult questions, but missed a couple we should have gotten (I thought I knew most of the world’s capital cities, but I didn’t know that Canberra was the capital of Australia). Like nearly everyone else, we didn’t realize that potatoes were introduced to North America from Peru (we guessed Poland; Ireland was way too obvious). The last question asked for the definition of “scholio,” from which we get “school.” I had a feeling that it was “leisure,” but we went with something else.

We moved up…one spot. To 8th place. Doggone. Maybe “leisure” would have moved us up to 7th.

The finals had three radiology teams–two from Fort Wayne Radiology, and one from Summit Radiology. Can you believe that the correct answer to the final question was “MRI”? A team from Fort Wayne Radiology won.

I liked the format this year, having the entire table compete for 50 questions. That was fun, and got everyone involved. Placing 8th out of 43 teams, I guess, is commendable.

But next year we make it to the finals.

Amidst all the diet crazes out there–Atkins, South Beach, Dr. Poon, ad nauseum–I would like to add one more: the Pancreatitis Diet.

In four weeks of walking and biking, plus moderation in eating, I lost 6 pounds. Not bad. Commendable, in fact. But in just 9 days on the Pancreatitis Diet, I’ve lost 11 pounds.

The first four days are the hardest–no eating or drinking whatsoever, culminating in the removal of your gall bladder. But the first week of anything is usually the hardest. After you get over that hump, it’s smooth sailing. Well, pretty much.

I have not had to eat from a strict list filled with foods I don’t like, such as broccoli and cauliflower, and according to a strict schedule. No cutting out of a food group, because it’s off-limits on Tuesdays. No embarrassingly peeling off the bun from a hamburger at McDonald’s or scraping off the pizza toppings at Pizza Hut.

In fact, I’ve been able to eat anything I want. The catch is that I’ve really not wanted to eat. I’ve mainly wanted to sit on the couch and marinate in my sweat. But hey, I’m losing weight.