The Holiday Inn Shanghai built a glass-bottomed swimming pool on the 24th floor which protrudes over the edge of the building. So while swimming underwater, you can look down to the street far, far below.
Great, that’s all I need–to experience a vertigo attack while underwater.
3M, which invented the sticky-note, wanted to acquire rival Avery Dennison, another major producer of sticky-notes. But the Justice Department blocked the sale. Because nothing is a greater threat to the world economy than having a sticky-note monopoly.
JetBlue is reducing the legroom on coach seats. Thinking of the last time I flew: is a reduction even possible? I had to store my legs in the overhead bin.
src=”http://www.youtube.com/embed/CYbVpAwGGGs” frameborder=”0″ width=”560″ height=”315″>
This is hysterical. Two guys make up shopping lists for each other–really silly, made-up items–and then they head to what appears to be a Target to find these items.
Pam’s conference last week was hosted at the Hilton Bayfront San Diego, right along the ocean. It’s a beautiful hotel, with wide open spaces and its own Starbucks, which is always busy busy busy. We were on the 14th floor.
We came to San Diego a couple days early, so we could take in SeaWorld and the San Diego Zoo. We spent two nights in a Holiday Inn Express. How does the HI Express compare to the Hilton? The rooms in both were the same size, with the same basic ingredients–beds, work table, comfy chair in the corner, free wi-fi, standard bathroom. Beyond that:
Cost
Hi Express: $110 a night.
Hilton: $259 a night.
Bed
HI Express: Asked for a king bed and got it.
Hilton: Asked for a king bed, but got bumped to two doubles.
Amenities
HI Express: a refrigerator, microwave, and safe.
Hilton: a safe and a nice metal ice bucket (dispenser down the hall).
Breakfast
HI Express: complimentary hot breakfast.
Hilton: on your own.
Newspaper
HI Express: free USA Today.
Hilton: USA delivered to your room each morning, but they charge you 75 cents.
Bathroom
HI Express: good shower, good linens, free hygiene products.
Hilton: very good shower, very big and soft towels, free designer hygiene products.
Water
HI Express: Two complimentary bottles of water.
Hilton: Water bottles available in the room for $4.25 each.
So all things considered, the edge goes to…well, those WERE pretty nice towels at the Hilton.
This is good. Real good. Enjoy.
Am well. Hope ya are. Tell brother Walt & Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell em to join up quick before maybe all of the places are filled.
I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m., but am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt & Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing.
Men got to shave but it is not so bad, they git warm water here. Breakfast is strong on trimmings- like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc…, but kinda weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie, and other regular food. But tell Walt & Elmer you can always sit between two city boys that live on coffee. Their food plus yoursa hold you till noon, when you get fixings again.
It’s no wonder these city boys cain’t walk much. We go on “route” marches, which the Platoon Sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it is not my place to tell him different. A “route march” is about as fer as to our mailbox at back yonder. Then the city guys gets sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.
The country is nice, but awful flat. The Sergeant is like a schoolteacher. He nags some. The Capt. is like the school board. Majors & Colonels just ride around an’ frown. They don’t bother you none.
This next will kill Walt & Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I dunno know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk an’don’t move – an’ it ain’t shooting back at you, like the Higgett boys at home.
All you got to do is to lay there all comfortable and hit it. You don’t even load your own cartridges – they come in boxes.
Be sure to tell Walt & Elmer to hurry an’ join before other fellers get into this setup an’ come stampeding in.
Your loving daughter, Gail
Someone sent this to someone who sent it to someone else who sent it to me and a whole bunch of other people. Now I post it for your enjoyment.
One day an old German Shepherd starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he’s lost. Wandering about, he notices a panther heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.
The old German Shepherd thinks, “Oh, oh! I’m in deep doo-doo now!”
Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the panther is about to leap, the old German Shepherd exclaims loudly,
“Boy, that was one delicious panther! I wonder, if there are any more around here?”
Hearing this, the young panther halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees.
“Whew!,” says the panther, “That was close! That old German Shepherd nearly had me!”
Meanwhile, a squirrel who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the panther. So, off he goes.
The squirrel soon catches up with the panther, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the panther.
The young panther is furious at being made a fool of and says, “Here, squirrel, hop on my back and see what’s going to happen to that conniving canine!”
Now, the old German Shepherd sees the panther coming with the squirrel on his back and thinks, “What am I going to do now?,” but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn’t seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old German Shepherd says…
“Where’s that squirrel? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another panther!”
Moral of this story: Don’t mess with the old dogs. BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.
I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
CEOs are now playing miniature golf.
Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
I saw a Mormon polygamist with only one wife.
McDonald’s is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.
Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children’s names.
My cousin had an exorcism but couldn’t afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!
A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.
A picture is now only worth 200 words.
When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.
And, finally…
I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.
Is there a conspiracy to eliminate the spoon from Western Civilization?
I ate at Applebees yesterday and had some rice pilaf in a bowl. But when I unwrapped the napkin, all it contained was a knife and fork. Have you tried to scoop rice out of a rounded bowl with a long-tined fork?
At Smokey Bones, I love their roasted corn. However, they serve it in a small round crock…and like Applebees, they don’t give you a spoon. Pam and I always ask for a spoon, so we can eat the corn without swearing.
But why should we have to ask for a spoon? Corn + rounded crock = Must Have Spoon. A no-brainer to me.
Did some restaurant exec figure out how much money the chain can save in a year by not buying spoons? How much would be saved in dishwashing expenses by eliminating one-third of the dinnerware?
Then you go to some fancy restaurant, and they give you three forks. I don’t understand.
 |
Copyright © 2013 Steve Dennie | All rights reserved
