Author Archives: Steve

Boise State Rocks!

Wow, am I ever glad I stayed up to see the end of the Fiesta Bowl! How could you not cheer for an underdog from Idaho of all places, unless you are from, uh, Oklahoma. I’ve always hated Oklahoma, going back to their great rivalry with Nebraska in the 1970s (Nebraska was the Good Guys, especially when they had Johnny Rogers).

You also have to like Boise State because they have a blue field. Yes, blue. They’re just downright interesting.

That Fiesta Bowl is among the best games I’ve ever seen. When Boise threw that interception with a minute left, and it was run in for a touchdown, I thought, “Well, they played their hearts out. It was a great season for them.” But with a minute left, they came back with that hook & ladder play, executed to perfection, to tie it up. And then the similarly perfect Statue of Liberty play to win the game.

And then the guy who ran it in immediately proposed to his cheerleader girlfriend. He had the ring in his room, but got caught up in the moment and proposed on the field. For the rest of his life, when he’s with friends and they’re swapping “How’d you propose?” stories, he’ll win hands-down.

Perfect in every way.

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The Magic Bottle

SteveFeedingConnor.jpgLast night, New Year’s Eve, Pam and I volunteered to watch Connor while Allen and Carolyn used movie passes to go see “Eragon” at the Rave Cinemas. They said it was very good, BTW.

Pam and I were, of course, taking a risk, at least for us. Watching a baby for several hours is not only out of our comfort zone, it’s out of our time zone. Fortunately, Connor just slept and slept for the longest time, peaceful and serene. It was easy. Molly laid down on the floor with him, next to his blanket. It was very cute.

Then he woke up. And the crying started. Crying escalated to bellowing, then nigh unto screaming. I can write books, design websites, play piano by ear. Figure out how to get a baby to stop crying? With that, I’m clueless. I walked him around, did the bob-and-weave thing, tried the rocking chair (which Carolyn expressly recommended before leaving), and talked nonsense. Nothing worked.

Perhaps his diaper needed changing? We laid him on a mat and checked, and…my goodness, that was disgusting. (Green? How’d it get green? What kind of world is this?) Pam wiped him off and attached a new diaper, and he seemed to approve.

For a few minutes. Then the crying / bellowing / screaming started again. More bob-and-weave, all in vain. The decibel level increased. And though he had been fed a bottle just two hours before, we could think of no other options. So Pam made him a bottle, with 50 seconds in the microwave.

Glory be to the Magic Bottle! It settled him right down. He approved. Hallelujah! Amazing things happened. Peace descended. The planets realigned. Lions romped with lambs. Shiites and Sunnis danced together in the streets. George Bush read a book.

And then Carolyn and Allen promptly returned, which is probably what Connor wanted all along. Not to be stuck with these two strange Not-Mommy-and-Daddy types.

Such was our little New Year’s Eve adventure. Pam and I, without actual baby-having experience, survived the evening and used our wits to prevail over the cataclysmic crises Connor was experiencing deep in his soul. We did it. Jolly good show!

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Pancake Breakfast – New Beginning

This morning we had a pancake breakfast in the fellowship hall, followed by the service there. Pastor Tim Hallman spearheaded the pancake-making. During his sermon, he thanked everyone for coming for pancakes, and explained why it held such significance for him.

A number of us remembered.

Five years ago, on the last Sunday of that year, Tim was getting ready to make pancakes when he was told to go upstairs. His wife, Tara, was waiting for him in the office with terrible news: Tim’s brother, Matt, had just been killed in an auto accident. MattsGrave.jpgA drunk driver–a young mother with two young children in the backseat–hit Matt’s car. Only the children survived.

So holding this pancake breakfast was a big deal for Tim. He told how the accident took away much of his passion for ministry, and he thanked people for hanging in there with him. He said this pancake breakfast was somewhat of a new beginning for him.

Yesterday, on the actual anniversary of Matt’s death, the family visited the Pilgrim’s Rest cemetery in Huntington where Matt is buried along with Tim’s youngest brother, Ben, who died in 1994. That’s Tim’s family in the photo, and I’m trusting Tim doesn’t mind me stealing this photo from his own blog entry about the day. Sometimes stuff like this drives people out of the ministry. I’m glad Tim is still with us.

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Making the “Best Church” Lists

There are a lot of “Best Church” lists. The “Fastest Growing Churches” and the “Largest Churches in America” lists are always popular (PDF of 100 Fastest-Growing in 2006). A few months ago I came across a list of the “50 Most Influential Churches in America.” Wikipedia has a list of the “Tallest Churches in the World,” tallness being an obvious factor in church health. And now I’ve discovered a list of the “25 Most Innovative Churches in America.” They are mostly megachurches with high name recognition.

I’m sure there might be, somewhere in America, a fellowship of 50 believers laboring in a slum amidst tremendous poverty and adversity, doing things that no other church in the country is doing, and getting by on pocket-change resources. But can that church rank among the country’s most innovative churches? Absolutely not. Not with a mere 50 people. Heck, they don’t even count. Might as well not exist. Fifty people? Who gives a rip?

These lists are not “the 25 Most Innovative Churches with Over 2000 Attenders,” but just the most innovative churches in general, and the results imply that smaller churches either don’t count or just don’t cut it. Now, I’m not big-church bashing. Many of these churches display an incredibly focused passion for reaching the lost, and we can learn much from them. But the adulation, hero worship, and self-congratulation that often surrounds megachurches is not necessarily a wonderful thing which thrills the heart of Jesus.

While there are about 400,000 churches in the United States, the “Best Church” oscars generally get circulated among the 1200 megachurches. For example, 15 churches placed among both the “25 Most Influential” and “25 Most Innovative” churches. How cozy. Over 400,000 churches to choose from, but they round up the usual suspects.

Around 20 years ago, people thought of megachurches as having at least 1000 people. Now, membership in the Megachurch Club requires at least 2000 people. I guess way too many churches were crashing what had been an exclusive party, so they raised the admission fee. Riff-raff churches with a mere 1400 people (most likely non-innovative people) became bouncer-bait. It’s good to have high standards. Even then, the club is swelling and becoming less intimate. In 1990, the US had 350 megachurches. By 2000, there were 900 megachurches. Among the current 1200 megachurches, the average attendance exceeds 3800. So now there’s a Premium membership–the Gigachurch, for congregations with 10,000+ people (currently, about 35 members).

The 1200 megachurches represent .3% of all congregations (not 3%, but three-tenths of a percent). But they get all of the kudos because, as James 2 tells us, we should go out of our way to recognize the rich and influential and famous. But I’d like to suggest some other “Best Church” lists that nobody will bother crafting, because it would entail recognizing those inconsequential 99.7% of churches that don’t qualify for the Megachurch Club, and therefore do nothing meaningful for the Kingdom.

For example, these lists might be interesting:

  • Churches that don’t have lots of money and their pastor isn’t the most gifted fellow, but they have a great heart and try real hard.
  • Churches least interested in entertaining themselves.
  • Churches that best integrate evangelism with a keen social conscience.
  • Most effective landlocked churches–no room for more parking or building–that refuse to leave their community to build a new campus on farmland with highway access, so that they can become a megachurch and make a Best Church list.
  • Churches that, per capita, give the most money to missions (small churches would dominate this list).
  • Churches with the smallest proportion of worship attenders who are just spectators, rather than active Christians.
  • Churches that intentionally locate themselves in poor communities, rather than merely “go to the poor” on mini mission excursions and feel really good about themselves when they return to their suburban cathedrals.
  • Most innovative churches with less than (choose one: 100, 200, 500) people.
  • Churches located in wealthy suburbs with the largest number of low-income people attending regularly.
  • Churches with the largest proportion of people actively involved in ministry.
  • Churches with the lowest average income among its lay leaders.
  • Churches that have maintained a positive reputation and influence in their community for the longest period of years.
  • The smallest churches that have intentionally given away the most people to start other churches.

When I write this kind of stuff, people assume I’m just a traditional small-church guy who is insanely jealous of large churches, and takes gratuitous potshots at highly visible targets. I have never attended a church that wasn’t innovating and reaching the lost and growing; I could never be satisfied sitting in the pews of a status quo church, of which there are legion. But I don’t think megachurches are the final word in faithfulness, nor the only qualified candidates for “Best” lists.

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Best Sites for Christian Communicators

OutreachMagazine.com lists the Top 20 Websites for Christian Communicators. Several of these sites are already among my regular stops.

I’ll put some of the other 20 on my custom launch page and check them out, see if they’re worth regular attention.

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Christmas 2006 Wrap-up

Another Christmas season is over. This one will probably rank as the most memorable Christmas Pam and I have spent together. That’s because of having Allen, Carolyn, and Conner living with us, and being entirely outward-focused. Pam and I spent very little on gifts for each other, instead agreeing to focus on getting gifts for our three houseguests. Heavens, that’s sure a lot more fun!

On Saturday, my family came over to our house. That means my parents, Rick and Doreen and their two kids (from South Bend), and Stu and Joyce and their four kids. Curt, Stu’s oldest, was working at the airport and couldn’t make it. First time we’ve been short for a number of years. But then, we picked up Tom, Paula’s husband of six months.

Carolyn had to work, but Allen and Conner spent the first couple hours with us before going to pick up Carolyn and then heading to Carolyn’s aunt’s place. Of course, everyone took turns holding Conner. Mom and Doreen got Conner presents (Doreen made a neat baby blanket).

On Sunday afternoon we headed west, toward South Whitley, where Pam’s brother, Jim, has a house. The whole crew was there–Jim and Kelly, with their four kids, Jody (Pam’s sister) with her two kids, and Pam’s dad, Chuck. Jim has a big-screen TV, which made it extremely convenient to watch the latest meltdown of our beloved Colts.

We got back to our house around 7 pm, and then Pam and I got busy wrapping presents–for each other (basically just stocking stuffers this year), and for Allen, Carolyn, and Conner. All five of us had a stocking hanging from the fireplace. We filled those, and then our houseguests returned. Allen and Carolyn started wrapping their gifts. Allen is really, really careful and exacting in wrapping. I’ve seen that same detail-consciousness in watching him put together model cars. I imagine he’s the same way in assembling bicycles at Dick’s Sporting Goods.

So we got all the presents wrapped…and then commenced opening them. It was fun, just the five of us sitting on the floor with Welch’s Sparkling Grapejuice. Pam had found a Led Zeppelin hooded sweatshirt for Allen, and he loved it. She also found a gray Chicago Bears hoody for Carolyn. Carolyn is an avid Bears fan. I got some tools for Allen, looking toward the day when I see him working as a mechanic. He brought his toolbox inside, and we cleaned the grease off his toolbox and his assortment of sockets.

There were other gifts. Allen got me a nice, heavy folding knife. You can’t go wrong getting knives for me. Carolyn got Pam a set of three ceramic bears (Pam has lots of bears in the house).

Pam had to go to work today, but I had the day off. Allen and Carolyn just got back about an hour ago. They’ve been running around town all day, spending Christmas money they got from various sources. Carolyn showed me a cute outfit they got for Conner at Kohl’s, using a gift card my Mom gave them. They also got a chair for Conner that rocks and has things he can grab and play with. And the chair vibrates. Very cute. He’s been sitting in it, and seems to enjoy it.

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The World’s Best Christmas Paper

Tonight I wrapped a present using Christmas paper which, on the back side, had a printed grid. It was easy, with scissors, to cut a square piece out simply by following the lines. I don’t know where Pam found this roll of Christmas paper, but I love it.

This is one of the greatest inventions in the annals of Christmasdom, and should become a requirement for all Christmas paper, even if it requires an act of Congress. Such is the depth of my feeling about this.

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Donald Vs. Rosie

rosie.jpgI’m torn. In the monster feud currently captivating The Big Apple, should I take the side of Donald Trump or of Rosie O’Donnell? Two fine, exemplary people of unmarred moral integrity. I just can’t choose. It’s like seeing Iraq and Iran go to war. Who do I root for?

The Donald rants at length and blasts everything about Rosie, practically salivating with disdain. Meanwhile, our favorite lesbian merely says, “Here’s my comment to him,” and makes a sour face into the camera.

Donald, take note: humor always wins. Unfortunately, The Donald can’t buy any of this commodity with his alleged billions. He’s in for a pummeling. And it’ll be fun watching.

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Our Weekly Bandidos Date

Pam and I have a Wednesday night tradition of stopping at Bandidos after prayer meeting. A new Bandidos opened up near us sometime during the past year. We usually get their after 9 pm, and we can be in and out in a half hour (depending on what we order). Though we have houseguests for the foreseeable future, we still want to keep this Bandidos date for ourselves.

We rarely find more than a few other patrons at that time. The same server greets us, a youngish guy with blonde hair who knows that Pam wants a diet Mountain Dew and I want Sierra Mist, and he brings them without asking. His low-key, non-intrusive approach fits what we’re after–a quiet, comfortable time to debrief about the day and enjoy each other’s company.

We often order a medium nachos with just the beef and cheeses, and we share it. That’s what we did last night. I’m also partial to their three-taco meal, though I can’t remember off-hand which Spanish name it goes by (Ramona? Eva? Juana?).

I don’t know our server’s name yet. I should ask. I always tip him 20%, which last night would have come to $2. But, the Christmas spirit upon us, Pam and I decided to tip him $4 last night. I wrote “Merry Christmas, Steve and Pam” on the bottom of the bill. It’s fun doing stuff like that.

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Amazing Events in My Life

I’m experiencing a lot of firsts, and most of them revolve around Connor. Allen and Carolyn let me borrow him regularly. I call it getting my “Connor fix” for the day. I just must hold the little guy.

Tonight, Allen and I were left with Connor while Pam and Carolyn were out getting Carolyn some new shoes. He began getting fussy, so I picked him up and held him. But he didn’t stop. I asked Allen what I should do to calm him, and he said, “I don’t know.” Allen is real good with Conner. But I guess babies are not an exact science.

So I stood and bobbed up and down, like I’ve seen mothers do. I felt like a total idiot. I kept my bob to a minimum, trying to retain some dignity, but enough motion so that it counted for something. And gradually, Connor settled down. And then, suddenly, magically, he was asleep. In my arms. His head pressed into my shoulder. I couldn’t believe it. I felt like I had just scaled Mount Everest, such was my sense of accomplishment. And I didn’t want to ever let that moment stop.

I eventually sat back down on the couch, with Connor laying on my chest, and he slept soundly, right there, for a good hour. Maybe more. No way did I want to put him down. When he began stirring, I cradled him in my arms, and he went back to sleep. Thus did we dance for two hours tonight, until I finally gave the sleeping tot to Allen.

This is all run-of-the-mill stuff for most people, who’ve either had babies or been around babies. For me, this is all quite new.

Here are some more photos:

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