On Friday night, Pam and I stopped in at the Friday night youth center our church runs. It’s open 7-10 pm every Friday night. We meet in a house next door to the church (which the church owns). There’s a pool table and other games in the basement, a room upstairs with TV/videogame equipment, a front room with bar chairs and tables, a kitchen, and a large room in the back of the house. Teens and post-high schoolers drop in, and adults spend time with them. Pam and I volunteered with this ministry for about four years, but during the past year we transitioned out to focus on other ministries. But on Friday night we drove over to the Third Street Cafe (which is what we call this ministry) just to check in and see what was happening.
We spent the whole time in that front room, talking with adults and some high school age kids. There was open talk about birth control methods and other things I don’t remember my youth group ever discussing. It was good being reminded of the dysfunctional situations these kids come from. In particular, we talked with a guy and girl who are living together, she’s pregnant, he recently got out of jail (for the second time), and they’re thinking of getting married sometime this year. They come to church regularly. They were there today and stayed for the potluck after church. I think that’s great.
The guy had just landed a job. He told us about it Friday night, and we celebrated that with him. It’s tough for guys who have been in jail to land decent jobs. He was telling people today at church about it. We have another fellow who was in jail for a while, and I remember how happy he was when he finally found a job.And now he’s gonna be a dad, and he seems so terribly young, so terribly unready. Both of them do. How do we help them? They need good examples, and they have them in the adults at the youth center. But that’s only for a few hours. You can’t replace the value of growing up in a home where you can watch a mom and dad interact year after year in healthy ways. I treat Pam like I saw Dad treat my Mom. But for this couple, who come from dysfunctional situations (she never knew her biological father, and both her mom and step-dad died within a few months of each other a few years ago, at which point she went to live with an aunt), they both start from such a terribly deep
hole.
It’ s just overwhelming, sometimes, when you see the depth of needs in people’s lives. Particularly in a neighborhood like ours, though you can find these situations in smalltowns just as easily. Anyway, they have little or no family support system, low-paying jobs, a baby on the way, little knowledge of how to relate to each other in healthy ways, a shallow value system. But they have us, and a loving church. That needs to go a long way. They’ve been on my mind a lot during the last few days. That makes me happy. I can be callous. I guess in this situation, I truly care.
