We laypersons can be a pain in the butt for pastors. From my perch at our denominational headquarters, I’ve heard gobs of sad stories over the past 27 years of laypersons who deflate churches and wound pastors. There are entrenched patriarchs who refuse to relinquish power and who selfishly veto ideas for moving the church forward. There are laypersons who care deeply about ministry, but voice their concerns and passions in unhealthy ways. There are outright carnal people who push themselves into positions of power and wreak havoc. There are people who just talk too much, scattering petty criticisms throughout the congregation. There are laypersons who micromanage the pastor.

There are good laypersons, too. Whenever a church is growing, it’s not just the pastor’s doing. He has laypersons working alongside him in positive ways. But too often, I hear about the negative kind.

During the 1990s, my denomination held a leadership conference which brought together several hundred United Brethren ministers and laypersons. One morning we divided everyone into 48 different groups–24 groups of laypersons, 24 groups of pastors and wives. We instructed them to develop a ten-point “Code of Conduct” for themselves–one code of conduct for ministers, and one for laypersons. I helped compile and condense the 48 different codes. We ended up with a 15-point Code of Conduct for ministers and a 12-point Code of Conduct for laypersons.

I recently stumbled across these codes, and they still contain a great deal of wisdom. Here is the Code of Conduct for Laypersons. This was a reminder to me of what a jerk I can be (the “cares deeply but acts unhealthily” variety) at times. Read this, and pray for laypersons who will follow it.

1. I will be open-minded to change, and will not insist that others follow my preferences.
2. I will focus on the positive in our church and convey that to others.
3. I will abide in Christ and bear the responsibility of that relationship.
4. I will demonstrate a servant attitude in carrying out my church responsibilities.
5. I will continuously evaluate my schedule, balancing family and church time in a way which puts family first.
6. I will not create conflict, and will lovingly confront those who do.
7. I will not criticize the pastor or others behind their backs, but will speak to them personally, always offering a solution with any complaints.
8. I will expand my witness in my corner of God’s world, and will do nothing to jeopardize my witness.
9. I will recognize that my talents, time, and resources belong to Christ.
10. I will be consistent and dependable.
11. I will pray for my church, its leaders, and its ministry.
12. I will continually remind myself that the ministry of the church is my ministry.