The genie is free, the Furies unleashed, the dam breached, Pandora’s Box unlocked. The Four Horseman, atop fresh saddles, are galloping in my direction, promises of “Vengeance!” on their breath.

Yesterday was Pam’s birthday, and the birthday of Chuck, her “second” Dad. I took them both to Logan’s Steakhouse, something generally viewed as a good deed. If we had gone to Bandido’s, they would have gotten free meals, and it would have been a very cheap date for me. But no, I opted for Logan’s, with the peanut shells littering the floor and the tasty warm rolls.

As we ordered, I asked our waitress, “Do you do anything special for people with birthdays?” I was fishing for discounts or free meals.

“We yeehaw,” she told me. “Who is having a birthday?”

I pointed to both Pam and Chuck. “Both of them. Father and daughter.”

Pam was of a mind to crunch my skull with a crowbar. We’ve had this agreement that we don’t embarrass each other publicly on birthdays. We nearly always eat out on birthdays, but never rat out each other to the waitress. I detest having “Happy Birthday” or other fusses made over me, and Pam detests it even more. So what I did at Logan’s violated a sacred covenant, marched across No Man’s Land to break a truce. We will, perhaps, need marital counseling to recover the trust I flagrantly threw to the wind.

But, being weak-willed and impulsive, I couldn’t resist. Not with two birthday people present. Chuck merely grimaced, annoyed by his son-in-law’s transgression, yet playing the good sport. But Pam promised that my upcoming 50th birthday would involve gift-wrapped retribution. Actually, I figure on get nailed on my 50th no matter what, good behavior or not. And yet, some fuses simply shouldn’t be lit.

When we finished eating, our waitress and two fellow servers came to the table and asked Pam and Chuck to leave the booth and come stand beside them. Pam refused, and Chuck said, “If she’s not, I’m not.” After some futile coaxing, our server finally realized it was a lost cause. She then yelled out to get everyone’s attention, and then led the restaurant guests and workers in a loud “Yeehaw!” People applauded, and that was it.

The ordeal was much less painful than enduring the “Happy Birthday” song. And yet, I breached a dam tonight, and I must now live in fear of the inevitable, but yet-unknown, consequences. Sin is rarely worth it, never satisfying. I’m afraid Pam shall teach me that lesson with utmost clarity.