The FOX NFL pregame team in Afghanistan: L-r: Curt Menefee, Terry Bradshaw, Howie Long, Michael Strahan, Jimmy Johnson, Jay Glazer.

One of life’s simple pleasures, guy-wise, is watching the three NFL Sunday pregame shows. In order of greatness, they are: FOX, ESPN, and CBS.

Each show has basic roles: “host,” “coach,” “quarterback,” and then miscellaneous players.

My favorite, by far. is the FOX team: host Curt Menefee, Terry Bradshaw, Howie Long, Michael Strahan, and Jimmy Johnson. They got chemistry! Adding Strahan last year was a huge; the gap-toothed one has personality plus. Strahan and Long duplicate the “defensive player” role, but I’ll allow it. Terry Bradshaw is irreplaceable. Then they always throw in a segment with Frank Caliendo, which is Must-See TV. And Jay Glazer adds some great reports from off-screen.

I like the ESPN team, too: host Chris Berman, Mike Ditka, Tom Jackson, Keyshawn Johnson, and Chris Carter. A newcomer is Chris Carter, whom I really like. Keyshawn Johnson–he’s okay, but talks too slow (yes, I’m a petty person). Chris Berman is head-and-shoulders the best host of any of the shows, and Mike Ditka is the best when it comes to the “coach” role. They’re lacking a former quarterback, though Steve Young appears sometimes (he’s so-so). And with both Johnson and Carter, they duplicate the “wide receiver” role. Need some balance.

Then there’s CBS, my least favorite: host James Brown, Dan Marino, Boomer Esiason, Bll Cowher, and Shannon Sharpe. James Brown is a really good host, who until 2005 anchored the FOX pregame show. They duplicate the “quarterback” role with Marino and Esiason; I’d ditch Marino, whom I find bland. Cowher is okay in the “coach” role, but Ditka and Johnson are better.

Looking at all three teams, my MVP goes to Terry Bradshaw. Can be a nut, or quite serious. Shannon Sharpe is my MEP (Most Expendable Person). He’s just way too serious.

Curt Menefee, at FOX, is the worst of the three hosts. The FOX team deserves better. I can’t imagine Berman anywhere but at ESPN. Brown was the FOX host until 2005. They need to get James Brown back. Then replace Jimmy Johnson with Mike Ditka. Now there’s an amazing team.  

Earlier this year, the FOX team spent a Sunday anchoring from Afghanistan. That was an amazing, amazing show.