This week I’m taking a car-less friend to work, and to satisfy my Starbucks addiction, I’ve been stopping at a different Starbucks than normal–the one at the Jefferson Point mall here in Fort Wayne. I went there Monday, Wednesday, and today.

All three days I asked for decaf coffee. All three days, I was told, “It’s still brewing. If you can wait a few minutes….”

Monday, I opted instead for their medium roast. Yesterday I just left and tried the nearby Krispy Kreme restaurant, where the decaf machine happened to be broken for they didn’t know how long.

Today, when the kind folks at the Jefferson Point Starbucks told me it would be about four minutes, I just dropped my head and said, “You’re kidding. I’ve stopped here three times this week, and every time you don’t have decaf.”

The two young women explained to me, in very understanding, apologetic, visitor-friendly voices that would make managers proud, that they brew (or was it “rebrew”?) every hour, and I just happened to come at that time. In actuality, I was not interested in an explanation of why they couldn’t sell me what I came to buy three times in a row. So I just mustered up an aura of displeasure and left in a huff, possibly unbefitting of a church elder. Fortunately, the door was not the slammable type.

Why does Starbucks hate decaf drinkers so much?

Fortunately, Krispy Kreme’s machine was fixed, so they accepted my $1.77. It was drinkable.