Kroger is doing it again. They own the Scott’s grocery store chain in Fort Wayne–bought it a few years ago. That included the Scott’s on Illinois Road, where Pam and I shop. It immediately went a little downhill, service-wise, but not too badly. Still a good store.

I know that store real well. I can find things. I have it down. Ask me where something is, and I can tell you.

Went there today…and they’re MOVING EVERYTHING AROUND. This is like the third time since they took over. Why would they do that? Why? Why do they insist on injecting so much tension into my grocery-shopping experience? Is not American life difficult enough without the uncertainties inherent in rearranging the store? My beloved grocery store, once a comfort zone, will now become a mystery. Again.

I imagine some corporate dead-ender did a consumer-behavior study, complete with hidden cameras and eye-tracking and who knows what else, and the conclusion was: we need to move stuff to a different location. Put the paper goods where the pickles were. Move the cereal two aisles over. Put the coffee next to the flour. Consumer-behavior studies give detailed ramifications.

When I went through the checkout line today, the checker, talking points memorized, was assuring people, “It’ll be a good change. You’ll like it when it’s done.”

No, it won’t be a good change. Because in another year, just after I once again figure out where everything is, some corporate guy will do another consumer-behavior study, and it’ll show that things still aren’t in the right place. The cereal is still on the wrong aisle, and flour and coffee just don’t work together. You’ll determine that this “good change” is actually all wrong, that it is mortally flawed. And you’ll move things around again.

Just quit it, okay? The store is fine the way it is.