Monthly Archives: May 2008

Obscure Lessons from a Bird That Couldn’t Wait

I’m still searching for the spiritual application. So help me out.

I’m taking the week off, staying at home. I’ve just finished taking a shower, and now I’m sitting in our screened-in porch reading a good Christian book, Confessions of a Pastor, by Craig Groeschel. I’ve just finished his excellent chapter “I Feel Inadequate,” and now I’ve started the chapter “I Stink at Handling Criticism.” As I read, I keep an eye on Jordi, who is out in the grass.

After reading a couple pages, I look up–and no Jordi. He probably went around the side of the house. I stand up, pressing my face to the screen to peer around the corner. Just then a bird flies overhead. And also just then, my head is splattered with something wet but not terribly cold. Bullseye.

Bird poop. Wonderful.

The screen shows six splotches, close together. Direct hit. That bird should train F-117 pilots.

I go inside and wash myself off. And then, already being in a spiritual frame of mind, begin pondering the meaning of it all.

Since I was reading about handling criticism, was God telling me how people blame him for everything? Even an accidental bath from above? On the other hand, if this was an intentional lesson…then God IS to blame.

Or maybe it’s the “stink” part of Groeschel’s chapter. Criticism stinks, and handling criticism badly stinks. Is that a lesson God would go out of his way to make? Seems pretty shallow to me.

No, it must be something else. Something more than a euphemistic Stuff Happens. I’ll continue meditating on this throughout the day.

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Using Your Vote as a Prank

Rush Limbaugh is far from my favorite person. He’s just a loud-mouth, totally partisan, highly divisive show-boater. The world would be a better place without him. And he obviously has little respect for American democracy. He encourages Republicans to play games with the process by crossing over and voting for Hillary, just to keep the Democratic primary going. It probably cost Obama the Indiana primary.

Why does Rush have so little respect for the right to vote? Why does he encourage people to use their vote as a prank? I view the vote as a great privilege? Isn’t that what we preach around the world? People die for the sake of their vote, for goodness sakes!

Rush thinks it’s a big hoot. I can’t imagine playing childish games with my vote. And yet, untold mindless hordes worship Rush’s utterings, and actually voted against their true conscience. Is this what we want to teach the world, and our own children, about democracy?

How did Americans become so flippant about their vote?

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ADD at the Balance Center

Yesterday was my appointment with Dr. D, the dizziness specialist at Ear Nose and Throat Associates. After waiting an hour, Pam and I were ushered into a tiny room, and a few minutes later, Dr. D came in.

I explained how I’d been diagnosed with Meniere’s Disease, and that my experience over the past several years was consistent with all the research I’d done about Meniere’s Disease. But now, it seemed that my symptoms had gone to another level. I used the term “Meniere’s Disease” several times.

After some more talk, Dr. D said, “You may have a condition we call Meniere’s Disease.” And he went on to explain it, while I was thinking, “Oh crap.”

In other words, he hadn’t been paying attention to anything I told him. Was probably thinking, “Great, another patient with an amateur diagnosis of a very complicated medical condition.” He let me ramble on, get it out of my system, until he could take over, rush things along, and try to get back on schedule.

Well, anyway, he gave me a couple prescriptions–one for when a vertigo episode strikes, another to help remove salt from my system (basically, by making me run to the restroom every five minutes). I’ll take a test on June 2 at ENT’s Balance Center which will confirm that, yes, indeed, Dr. D is brilliantly correct: I do have Meniere’s Disease. And we’ll go from there.

I am totally inspired with confidence.

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Saturday Night at Granger Community Church

Pam and I spent Saturday night in South Bend, since I would be playing in the table tennis tournament at 9 a.m. We decided to go early enough to attend the 5:30 Saturday night service at Granger Community Church. We’d been wanting to attend a service there, and this was our chance.

Granger, which always ranks high among America’s most innovative churches, is tightly focused on reaching the lost. There are a number of such megachurches across the country doing some amazing ministry. Last fall while on vacation, we attended another one: Quest Community Church in Lexington, Tenn. These churches magnetically attract unfair criticism for “compromising” the Gospel. But they’re reaching people that more traditional churches never touch. Don’t get self-righteously petty about that.

Here are some random reflections from Granger:

  • A guy in a cowboy hat, with a high “howdy” quotient, welcomed us on the sidewalk. I liked him.
  • Just inside the door, a big line had formed at the cafe/coffeeshop.
  • The sanctuary was like a big, three-section hotel ballroom, with chairs set up in a sideways format.
  • An impressive number of people–hundreds–for this Saturday night service (with another coming at 7:30).
  • When the band came out before the service started, they were just silhouettes against a white background. Looked cool.
  • The band did a superb instrumental jam for the prelude.
  • We sang two or three songs, and then got right into the message.
  • The sermon series is “Get in the Game.” They did an amazing video which put two people inside a shoot-em-up video game. This took time to develop.
  • Granger expends a lot of energy branding each sermon series, and it’s impressive.
  • The “Pastor of Life Mission” gave the message. Very energetic dude. I wasn’t taking any notes, but didn’t notice any traditional structure to his message. That doesn’t bother me. I’m a writer who tires of the creativity-challenged “three points and a poem” thing.
  • At least 90% of the people wore bluejeans. Maybe 95%. Bluejeans everywhere. As we walked from the parking lot, with dozens of other people–not a non-bluejean in sight. The worship team, the ministers–bluejeans. True, it was bluejean weather–rainy, chilly. But it was almost like bluejeans was the official Granger uniform, and the prevalence amused me. As for Pam and me: bluejeans.
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Movie: Once

Pam and I watched “Once” tonight. Wow, what a charming movie! Mostly a modern musical, set on the streets of an English city. Probably 60% music.

  • No villain. In fact, no unlikable characters, period.
  • No conflict.
  • No denouemont. There’s a word I haven’t used since creative writing class.
  • Parents, but not the typical disapproving parents (always a cheap source of plot conflict).
  • No professional actors.

A story without conflict? Is that really possible? Yep.

My brother, Rick, told me to see “Once,” and added, “You can thank me later.” Well Rick: thanks.

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A Good Day of Table Tennis

Back from the St. Joseph Valley table tennis tournament. Started playing at 9 a.m. and finished around 2:30. To improve your rating with the US Table Tennis Association, you need to beat higher-ranked players. I did that three times today, and came within a centimeter (11-9 in the fifth game) of beating the highest-ranked player I played today. So I done good.

My brother Rick (who also blogged about the tournament) played well, too. We entered the same three categories, and thankfully, didn’t have to play each other.

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Recent Fiction Reads

Polished off a couple of quick fiction reads recently: “Million Dollar Baby” by Robert Parker, and “Grifter’s Game,” by Lawrence Block. But since I’m taking all next week off, I started a big fat fiction book: “Sidetracked,” a Kurt Wallander mystery by Henning Mankell. My fourth book by him. Forty pages in, I’m hooked. This will be another intricate winner.

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Notes on Ministering to the Emerging Culture

On Tuesday and Wednesday, I attended the “Hit the Bullseye” conference in Lima, Ohio. A lot of good stuff there, even though I felt sick the first day.

Here are some notes from “Leading Change in an Emerging Congregation,” by Brad Stahl. I took this workshop on Wednesday afternoon.

  • The emergent church is more about attitude than about age. Which thrilled me, because quite a few postmodern strains run through me, and I’m an old guy.
  • Some people will minister to, some with, and some as post-moderns. The workshop leader was in the “to” and “with” category, but didn’t consider himself thoroughly post-modern at the core.
  • The most dynamic testimonies come from people who are still struggling with their faith. But in traditional churches, we stink at admitting any struggles.
  • We know there are absolutes, but postmoderns don’t.
  • Sermons should be more an investigation of ideas than a sharing of objective truth. Lay the pieces out and let them put it together.
  • Builders (pre-1946) come for the sermon; boomers (1946-64) come for the high energy and quality; busters (1965-1980s) come for what they can feel–the music and worship.
  • Postmoderns value authenticity. If you screwed up, tell them you screwed up. They’ll relate to that, forgive you, and move on.
  • “I haven’t had a ‘sweet hour of prayer’ in years. I don’t pray that way.” Likewise for yours truly.
  • Conversion is a process. They can’t always pinpoint when they became a Christian.
  • You can reach people 20 years older than you and 20 years younger. Interesting idea. So I’m no longer relevant to anyone under the age of 31.
  • What you win people with, you win them to. You can’t expect to transition them to a service with a different style of music and preaching.
  • Post-moderns don’t want to commit to something unworthy of their commitment. But they’ll buy into radical commitment. We boomers were the original non-joiners, but still do a lot of stuff out of duty. Post-moderns don’t know from duty.
  • They like the idea of “hanging out.” Don’t want things to be planned. They engage with chaos. Uh…not me on this one.
  • Why am I the only United Brethren in this workshop? Out of the 40 UBs attending this conference?
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Movie: The Brave One

Watched “The Brave One,” with Jody Foster. Enjoyed it. Nice vigilante flick, with a somewhat surprising ending. I really didn’t have a clue how it was going to end, which always makes a movie more interesting.

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I’m Enjoying This Election

I think this election is thrilling. But a lot of people don’t.

I talked to someone yesterday who said, basically, “This country is so messed up, what with this crazy election and everything.” I regularly hear people complaining about how the Democratic primary just keeps going and going. But that doesn’t mean anything’s messed up.

It’s called democracy in action. We just haven’t had anything close like this in a long time, preferring to crown someone early on (Queen Hillary, takest thou the mantle to smite the evil Republicans). This is like a Super Bowl going down to the wire. Yes, it’s going into a lot of overtimes at this point, and we’d all like to turn off the TV and go to bed. But yet, this is “we the people” at work. It’s what our country is about. People aren’t being arrested, beaten, or prevented from voting, like in other countries. We the people are deciding something gravely important.

The super delegates are not “we the people.” They can overturn the popular primary vote. The question is: will they? Or will they respect the voice of the people? That’s what I’m waiting to see. But at the same time, we respect the systems that we vote into place. The Democrats, by their own vote, adopted the super-delegate system. And as a country, we adopted, together, the system which enabled George Bush to become president despite not winning the popular vote.

So it’s either “we the people,” or “we the system which we the people adopted.” Either way, it’s American democracy in action. And I find it thrilling to watch, despite all the collateral pettiness.

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