In his resignation speech today, Senator Larry Craig mentioned the support he had received form his fellow Idahoans. Idahoans? How awkward is that? Not as awkward as trying to make a name out of Indiana. Indians? Nope, can’t do that. Indianan? Nope. That’s why, if Craig hailed from Indiana, he would have cited his fellow Hoosiers. Wisconsin is another ungainly name. Wisconsinian? Wisconsinite? I suppose most Wisconsin people follow Indiana’s example, calling themselves Badgers.

The best state name is Texas, which is inhabited by Texans. Not Texasians, just Texans (though I do refer John Wayne, in some movie, referring to Texicans, which is akin to Mexicans). Kansas does the same thing, making its people Kansans (Kansicans?). But Texan is much cooler sounding.

Many states conveniently end with an “a” or “ia,” so you can just add an “n” and be done with it. Georgian. Pennsylvanian. Arizonan. Minnesotan. Of course, some states do some contortions, such as Florida, which makes it’s people Floridians, stressing a whole different syllable.

States ending in “on” just add “ian.” Washingtonian. Oregonian.

What do you call people from Mississippi? Mississipians? Probably. Michigan people are strangely named Michiganders. I don’t know what they call themselves in Maryland, Maine, Massachusetts, Hawaii, or Connecticut. Mainelander? Seems like I might have heard that before, but I’m not sure.

America was named after the explorer Amerigo Vespucci. I’m not sure how “Amerigo” became “America,” but I’m very glad that I’m not an Amerigoan.

And that, children and Miss Teen USA contestants and our friends in South Africa, is today’s geography lesson.