Yearly Archives: 2006

Associating with the Snooties

Last night at our little prayer meeting, we spent some time looking at Romans 12:9-21. Verse 16 says, “Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position.”

Nicolette offered what, to me, is a fascinating observation. She wondered if you could read that verse in the opposite way, meaning, “Be willing to associate with people of high position.”

So we talked about that. Nicolette said she felt uncomfortable, in particular, being around wealthy people. (In that regard, Anchor is definitely a low-position church.) We might view someone as a high-position person because of their education, important job, or wealth. Especially wealth. We agreed that we don’t like being around snootie people. People who regard themselves as better than you. People who use their intellect/position/money to assert their superiority, to intimidate others, or to wield power and influence.

No, it’s not fun being around such people. But perhaps the Bible is saying we shouldn’t avoid them. Maybe the spirit of the verse is, “Be willing to associate with anyone who isn’t like you. Don’t let your differences separate you.”

[Okay, amateur theologian on the premises.]

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10 Great Movie Speeches

I love great movie writing. And there are some lines, some speeches, that I never get tired of watching. If I stumble across that movie on TV, I’ll stick around just to watch that one scene. Here are some movie speeches that are classics in at least my mind. These are all longer than some of the best-known classics, like “I’ll be back” or “Rosebud.”

Blues Brothers. Elwood’s classic line, “It’s 106 miles to Chicago, we’ve got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark, and we’re wearing sunglasses.”

A Few Good Men. Lots of great writing here, with the legendary line, “You can’t handle the truth.” But my favorite line comes from Demi Moore’s character. When asked why she’s defending these two Marines, she says, “Because they stand on a wall, and they say ‚Äònothing is going to hurt you tonight, not on my watch’.’ It seems terribly bland, just reading it. But the context and Moore’s delivery (you hear in her voice an insecure little girl needing protection) make it great.

Gladiator. I loved the early line, “At my signal, unleash hell.” But the for-the-ages speech comes from Maximus (Russell Crowe) when he removes his helmet and tells his foe Commodus, with gradually building intensity, “My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.”

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The Cardinals Blow a 20-Point Lead

Last night was a great, even euphoric, night for Arizona Cardinals fans…right up until the last half of the last quarter. When it all tumbled end-over-end into the toilet. That was excrutiatingly painful to watch.

I’m basically an all-things-Arizona fan, which goes back to my days actually living there (in Lake Havasu City). That means I like the Arizona Wildcats, the Phoenix Suns…and the Cardinals, despite my memories of them in St. Louis. I rooted for the Diamondbacks when they reached (and won) the World Series. I draw the line at hockey. Sorry, but I just can’t cheer for a hockey team in the desert (or anywhere, for that matter).

I figured the Cardinals would get blown away last night. I was interested in the game for three reasons. One: the aforementioned Arizona infatuation. Two: I’ve been a USC football fan since my high school days, and Arizona now has a USC quarterback, Matt Leinart, who did quite well last night. And three: I’m definitely a Colts fan, and the Cards have a former Colt in Edgerrin James.

It was a sad, sad way to go to bed last night.

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Eight Years at Anchor

Today was Anchor’s 8th anniversary. Nothing special about 8. But we recognized the day. Seems so long ago, that morning when we wondered if anybody would show up. Well over 100 people came. Closer to 150. It was an exciting, even giddy, day. A real adrenaline rush.

Lots of people have come through our doors. Lots of ministry has occurred. But our attendance hasn’t changed much. That concerns me to an extent. And yet, I know that many lives have been touched, whether or not that translates into the numerical growth which evangelical Christianity worships. I, personally, have done more ministry this year than I did in nine years at my previous booming church.

So, praise the Lord for Anchor–what it has meant to me personally, and what it has meant to the scores of people who, in some way, Christ has touched through our hands.

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My Lutheran Adventure

Today I went to my first service at a Lutheran church. I’ve obviously lived an ecumenically sheltered life. This happened to be the funeral for the elderly mother of one of Pam’s coworkers. It was a small church, and when I walked into the sanctuary, my initial thought was, “This looks like a typical United Brethren church.” Long and narrow sanctuary. Hardwood pews spaced close together. Hymnal racks. An attendance board (sans white numbers) hanging up front.

Then I started really noticing. The dual podiums (one big, one small). That slender pole thing between the podiums (probably had something to do with communion, I guessed). The beautiful quilted banners hanging along the sides of the sanctuary. The organ in the balcony. And the minister wearing a white robe with green symbols. Don’t see that every day in United Brethren churches.

The minister started the service in back, moved to the small podium, then switched for no apparent reason to the larger podium, where he talked for a bit. Then he walked to the back of the platform behind what I think is called the chancel, then he came back down front again. He didn’t stay in any one spot long. I don’t know if he had to go to the bathroom, or if, as record exec Bruce Dickinson instructed Gene the Cowbell Guy, he was just exploring the space.

Everything was scripted, and each of us held a copy of the script. When the minister said “Let’s pray,” I instinctively bowed my head. But then, in the midst of his prayer, suddenly the entire congregation uttered a response of some kind, and I realized he was simply reading his prayers from the bulletin, and we had a part to play, too. Interactive–they call it “liturgical”–praying. No keep-your-eyes-shut stuff in this church.

A green cloth hung down the front of the little podium. A symbol on front showed a small ship, its sail unfurled, with a cross for the mast. I’m sure it meant something. The cloth on the large podium bore a Stargate symbol–a triangle with a wavy cross etched over it, and a capital D atop the triangle. I think it represented planet P3X2475. I’ll check with Samantha Carter to be sure.

We also sang three songs…slowly…s-l-o-w-l-y. All four verses, some with different words than I was accustomed too. “Amazing Grace” featured a whole verse I’d never heard. And we recited the Lord’s Prayer, Psalm 23, and the Apostle’s Creed. Pretty much covered it all, except for the Doxology.

Well, anyway, it was something new for me, and a bit strange. I’m sure that when Lutherans come to my church, it seems equally strange. And that’s good to remember.

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Don’t Mess with Reading Traditions

They’re changing the dimensions of mass-market paperback novels. Taller and thinner. I don’t like it. Reading is a lifelong sacred habit for me. This represents a capricious change made without my approval. So I’m against it.

Right now I’m reading my first book in this “Premium” format, John Sandford’s Broken Prey. Book publishers must be getting some resistance, because a page inside the back cover goes to great lengths to convince me that this is a Eureka-class change intended solely for my benefit. That’s bunk. Somewhere along the line, this design makes money for Berkeley Books–in paper production, the printing process, how books are packed and shipped or arranged on shelves, or something. This drastic change requires a bottom-line benefit. Call me a cynic.

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The Duct-Tape Artist

JoeLeatherman_200.jpgJoe Leatherman, Anchor’s drummer, is a 7th grader and sometimes sports a Mohawk. This week he also sported something else which drew unfavorable reviews from school administrators. He went to school wearing shorts made entirely of duct tape. They had pockets and everything. Joe’s Dad, Terry, was quite impressed, though he says the house is now littered with scraps of duct tape.

This is a magnet school focused on drawing youngsters interested in the arts. Don’t duct-tape shorts demonstrate a definite sense of artistry? I think so. Joe insists they are comfortable, though I have difficulty imagining that, with the chaffing and general inflexibility, and I didn’t think to inquire about zipper-related accomodations. But much of what youngsters wear (such as jeans magically held in place below butt level) don’t appear to my untrained eye to be particularly comfy.

Anyway, Joe was asked to remove his duct-tape shorts and don the spare shorts he brought for just such an occasion. Which he anticipated, since a friend got the same treatment a day or two previous.

Joe was told that the shorts were a distraction, to which Joe responded in a most reasonable and respectful tone, “Isn’t my Mohawk a distraction?” He was told, “If kids talk about your Mohawk more than they talk about school, then I’ll deal with that.” Or something along that line. The reasoning doesn’t quite track with me, especially when I consider all the other teen-culture fashion accessorizing that could conceivably qualify as distracting–chains and colored hair and prolific piercings, and pants with pockets around shin level.

Joe was telling us about this experience tonight at music practice. I asked Pastor Tim what he would think of someone coming to church wearing shorts made of duct tape. He thought that would be awesome. So maybe Joe will wear them to church Sunday. I, personally, would like to see this example of 21st Century postmodern creative expression. Maybe Joe will sit down on the drum seat and get stuck. Alas, the cost of being an artist.

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Good Writing Needs a Good Start

I was going through a box containing notes from seminars I’ve done in the past, and came upon a handout called “Creative Lead Sentences,” which I had used in a writing seminar once upon a time. These are not renowned classics, like “Call me Ishmael” and “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times,” or even “In the beginning God created…”, but creative leads from contemporary writing.

The best lead sentence of all time (that I’ve seen) was written by Ed Lahey in the Chicago Daily News. The article was about an intellectual who was in prison for murder, and who was killed after he made a homosexual pass at a fellow inmate. Here is Lahey’s lead, which no doubt caused him to laugh out loud at his desk when it popped into his head:

“Despite his fine college education, Richard Loeb ended his sentence yesterday with a proposition.”

Isn’t that great? Here are some other leads I collected for that handout.

  • “First, let me say that I am not a candidate, but if I were, I would never insult my fascist, obnoxious opponents” (Mark Russell in a TV Guide article).
  • “Given the choice between Carter and Reagan, I would rather be sick” (John Alexander in The Other Side).
  • “Because of the seriousness of our national and international situations, I’d like to say some things about ice cream” (Andy Rooney in a column).
  • “I have written this small book because a thousand times in my career I have groped for it and come up empty-handed” (Arthur Plotnik, The Elements of Editing).
  • “There are two schools of thought on tape-recording an interview: Yes and No” (John Brady, starting a chapter in his book The Craft of Interviewing).
  • “Does television make you sick? Then this is for you: there will soon be at last three entire television networks you can watch only in the hospital” (a Newsweek article).
  • “Your body is like a superbly engineered luxury automobile: if you use it wisely and maintain it properly, it will eventually break down, most likely in a bad neighborhood” (Dave Barry).
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Dad’s Shingle Party, My Balance Anxieties

That’s me sitting down, surrounded by Dad and Jonathan. My theory was that if you’re sitting down, you won’t lose your balance and fall off the roof.

On Saturday, we reshingled Mom and Dad’s roof. Pam and I went, ostensibly to help. Pam actually did help. I mostly stayed on solid ground. Heights don’t work well for me. Standing on a chair doesn’t work well for me.

My brother Stu brought quite a crew. There were his sons Benjamin and Jonathan, his daughter Paula and her husband Tom, and then Brian, a friend of Tom and Benjamin. Benjamin was clearly the boss, because he knew what he was doing. When anyone encountered a problem, they called for Benjamin. A few weeks earlier, this whole crew reshingled Benjamin’s fixer-upper house in Willshire, Ohio, which made Dad’s house seem like a cake-walk. In Willshire, Paula was suspended along the side of the house by a rope, which went over the top of the two-story house and was tied, on the other side, to Benjamin’s Jeep. She was scared to death, yet game.

The hope was to keep Dad off the roof. We’d just as soon that he not spend his senior years in a full-body cast. But we knew, deep down, that he’d inevitably climb topside. That came very early, when the truck was lifting shingles onto the roof, which was still frost-covered at that point. Dad climbed the ladder, crept up to the crest, stood, and walked–a bit shakily–over to Jonathan and Stu. Oh well. That’s Dad.

I was also able to hide behind my Miniere’s Disease, which had been acting up all week. It affects your balance, which affords an airtight argument against traversing rooftops. But when a call went out in the afternoon for someone to distribute shingles, I headed up, feeling like I should justify my existance. The first obstacle, of course, was moving from the ladder to the roof. I conquered that one with bravado. I then found myself on a small portion of the roof, above an add-on room, which is not slanted much. Alas, they needed me elsewhere, where the slope was much greater. I moved over there, feeling like I was wearing aluminum shoes on loose gravel. I stood there a bit, considering my balance anxieties. Paula noticed.

“How about if you take my place helping Brian, and I work over here?”

In other words, Paula was flat-out calling me a scaredy cat. But at age 49.94, I’m beyond the need to reaffirm pride. So I eagerly acknowledged Paula’s youthful wisdom and consented to her suggestion. Working with Brian meant I could stay on the less-inclined part of the roof, where I did not feel, constantly, like I would keel over and tumble overboard.

One time I watched Benjamin, with a stack of shingles slung over his shoulder, jaunt along the edge of the roof and merge seemlessly onto the ladder. No more difficult than opening a car door and climbing in. He’s my hero.

It was a fun day. And Mom fed us home-made noodles. Always a selling point for me.

The link below leads only to a bunch of pictures from the day’s festivities.

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Reporting from the Congo

Last week I noticed that Anderson Cooper, on CNN, was doing a series of reports on location in the Congo. I really didn’t have time last week to pay much attention. Something going on every night. But tonight, as I surfed around during football commercials, I noticed that they were showing Cooper’s CNN reports. Something in me wasn’t interested. It was Africa, and everything is dismal in Africa. Whereas NFL games are fun. My urge was to surf on by, and eventually meander back to the NFL game.

But I stopped myself. Why wasn’t I interested in this report on Africa? We criticize news media for acting like Africa doesn’t exist. And here was CNN, pouring no doubt millions of dollars into reporting on the needs in Africa (Sonjay Gupta was also reporting from Chad for Anderson Cooper). And I wasn’t interested? I preferred football?

So I told myself, “Steve, you need to be interested.” And I stayed. And I watched the report. And I was fascinated. This was really great reporting, and I’m better for having watched it. So thanks, Anderson, for taking such an interest in something which, sadly, doesn’t interest too many of your viewer and may have even been a ratings loser for you. Thanks for taking more of an interest than I usually take in Africa. And thanks for putting yourself at risk to inform complacent viewers about the enormous human needs in the Congo and elsewhere.

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