Yearly Archives: 2005

Searching, Grasping, Leaping

My denomination’s National Board met last Monday and Tuesday, and they were in the mood to do something drastic. I must commend them for leaping to some significant changes. I’m skeptical, but then, I’m still in the frame of mind that any “solution” we devise will be a very distant second-best to the humongous opportunities and synergies which we would have enjoyed by combining into the Missionary Church. But that’s not gonna happen, so I need to get over it. No sense continuing to wallow in sour grapes.

So, what is the United Brethren Church gonna do?

The initiative to join the Missionary Church emerged from a full-day long-range planning session by a group of a dozen thoughtful leaders. Last summer, I was privileged to eavesdrop on a two-day Missionary Church denominational planning meeting with about 50 people from across the country. I was impressed with the thoughtful, thorough way they approached things.

I wasn’t impressed with how we did it. I would have preferred that we start by determining such things as purpose, who we want to be, what we want to live and die for, what we want to excel at. Then structure around that. We just talked about those things, a scattershot approach, without settling on anything. Then we jumped right to structure. The first motion, the one that got the ball rolling, was to do away with the annual conference structure we’ve had for about 200 years. Whatever structure we ended up with, it would start with that building block. Like saying, “Let’s design a new car, but no matter what else it includes, it must have a V-6 engine.” My goodness that’s a stupid analogy, but my brain’s analogy-coming-up-with engine isn’t working real well right now.

Anyway, we’ll do away with conferences, group all 250 churches across the country into “cluster groups” of 5-7 churches, and let the bishop appoint all of the cluster group leaders. Interaction, accountability, pastoral development‚Äîmost things will occur within the cluster group context. Are we going to be a top-down organization, or a grassroots organization? We heard two proposals early in the meeting, and they were at odds on that point. But from the looks of it, we’re going to be top-down, which means we need to make sure we have the leadership that can make this radically-different structure work, and which can instill in our ministerial ranks the mindset needed to make it click. No matter how you look at it, a huge amount of leadership energy over the next 6-10 years will go into getting this structure in place and working out the bugs. It won’t be easy.

“Okay, Steve, rather than just gripe, give us an alternative.” That’s fair. But I’m sorry, I don’t have one. This may, indeed, be the best option out there. I’m cynical about how we got there, just as some people were disturbed with the process which led to the recommendation to join the Missionary Church. But I always say that process is an easy target; if you don’t like something, you can always find fault with the process–it’s not something that requires significant brainpower. Regardless of the process, if a solution is the best solution, then admit it. All things considered, I may need to do that in this case.

That’s all I’m gonna say for now. It’s enough.

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16 Years

Last night, Pam and I celebrated the 16th year of our engagement. There’s nothing special about “16,” of course, except that it’s one more than 15. I remember when Mary Miller, the wife of my previous pastor, died very unexpectedly in 1989. Not long after I proposed to Pam. Mary and Denny had been married for 15 years. I thought that was such an incredibly long time.

But now, I’ve been married for longer than that, and Denny has been remarried (to Karin) longer than he was married to Mary.

In December, my brother Stu celebrated his 25th year with Joyce. This summer, my parents celebrate their 50th.

I proposed to Pam on the day after Valentines Day, because I refused to be traditional or predictable or clicheish. I was ready on Valentines Day, but intentionally waited until that day had passed.

Last night Pam and I went to our favorite restaurant, Red River Steakhouse, then came home and watched the previous night’s episode of “24,” our favorite show. I think only one person was killed on screen, which may be a record for that show. Of course, a nuclear reactor is in melt-down, with many people destined to die horribly of radiation poisoning, but that’s all off-screen. In the video age, if it doesn’t happen on screen, it doesn’t happen.

Alas, I have drifted morbidly away from the romantic theme of this post. Fortunately, Pam enjoys the mayhem as much as I do. Just one of those things that keep us together, I suppose.

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What Do We Really Really Care About?

Back in early December, a friend and I discussed the question, “What does the United Brethren Church really care about?” This was after we learned that the constituency had definitely voted down the idea of combining our denomination into the Missionary Church. We felt that as a denomination, we needed to decide what it was we really really really cared about. What it was we would emphasize, put our energy behind.

We settled on a couple of things that we do, indeed, care about. We treasure our focus on biblical absolutes, while remaining open on theological and behavioral practices on which the Bible doesn’t clearly take a stand. As our documents say, “The church’s historic position has been to stand firm on biblical absolutes, allow freedom where the Bible allows freedom, and maintain unity when disagreements arise.” I’m a huge supporter of that statement. It very much defines who I am. In the debate over joining the Missionary Church, this principle was regularly emphasized (with some ridiculous insinuations that the Missionary Church is legalistic). But is that statement enough identity to justify our existance?

We’re also proud of our heritage. We haven’t done anything particularly noteworthy since 1889, when we split off from the main body, but our heritage prior to that point is pretty impressive. That, too, is something we care about. But is that enough?

I’ve been pondering this further the past few weeks, as I’ve been redesigning the denominational website. It’s due for an upgrade. In designing the homepage, I dearly wanted a tagline which would sum up the essense of who we are as United Brethren in Christ. “A church committed to….” But we have no such statement, nothing which says, “This is what we care about.” The Missionary Church has a great statement, which is prominent on their website: “An evangelical denomination committed to church planting and world missions.” Their actions prove that that’s more than just a statement. They truly care about church planting and world missions, and excel in carrying out those agendas.

We believe in church planting and missions; we know they are important and we make efforts. But I can’t say those are things we deeply care about, because you just can’t find the evidence. Sure, there are individuals and whole churches that can correctly claim to care deeply about church planting and/or missions. But we don’t as a denomination. And I can’t point to anything else. Evangelism? Growing healthy churches? Meaningful worship? More things we merely think are important–not things that in any way define us.

So, I resigned myself to designing the site without any catch-phrase or slogan.

Next Monday and Tuesday, our National Board will hold a special meeting to begin addressing the question, “Where do we go from here?” To answer that question, we need to decide, “What do we really really really care about?” Not, “What are we interested in or believe is important?”, but, “What do we want to be known for? What do we want to excel at? And what are we willing to put our sustained attention behind?”

I’m anxious to see how the delegates tackle such questions.

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Max is Back. For How Long?

Just got back from playing ping pong. Max, our 82-year-old leader, was in the hospital for three weeks. He has a tumor, his kidneys got infected and nearly shut down, things don’t look good. But he was playing, and could still whip me. We played for a while before he lifted up his parka and showed me the colostomy bag. Hmmm. I felt guilty hitting balls past him, because it was painful watching him slowly amble to retrieve balls. But at the table, his reflexes are plenty good. “I’m still as good as anyone in Fort Wayne, any age,” he told me.

I’m not sure of that. I’ve been going to a well-developed table tennis club on the other side of town. Lots of really good players there. There are a few that I think could beat Max–not in his prime, but now. Which shouldn’t seem like such a big deal–young guys ganging up on an 82-year-old with cancer and a colostomy bag. But there are some.

After the others left, I hung around to talk to Max. It’s the first time I’ve seen him since before he entered the hospital. He said he hasn’t been in the hospital since World War 2. Pretty fortunate. Now a bunch of things are hitting all at once. I sense that he’s lonely. I know he has at least one son in town, but I don’t know if he’s close to anyone. He just seems alone. If he didn’t have an athletic outlet, I get the impression he would just shrivel up and be gone. I asked him if his hospital stay went well, if they accomplished what they wanted to accomplish. He just smiled and said, “Oh no. This thing isn’t going away.”

How do you live with that?

On the way home, I pondered on whether I should have had prayer with him. Just say a little prayer on his behalf, him and me, the only ones left in the church. That’s what a minister would do. It doesn’t really fit me–it’s not something I would normally do, just have spontaneous prayer with someone who needs it. But maybe I should. Whether or not it “fits” me is irrelevant.

Maybe next week. He needs to feel less alone. I think the fact that I, at last, hung around and inquired–with genuine concern–about his condition at least counted for something in his mind. Probably most people don ‘t know what to say, figuring his days are numbered. And they are. But he needs people to come alongside him. I’ll give it a try.

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Super Bowl Recap

So New England won. I guess it was an exciting game, for people who care about either the Patriots or Eagles, but I’m not in either of those categories. I watched dispassionately, not caring who one.

I did, however, care about the commercials. As always. Not a great year for commercials either, for that matter, but there were still some good ones. I liked the beer commercial, where the pilot jumps out of the plane. And the mistaken robbery and cat-murder ads (by Ameriquest). But my favorite was the one involving US troops returning from Iraq, and being applauded as they go through the airport. That was a truly moving ad. I heard today that that is the only time the ad will air; Annheuser Busch won’t be airing it again. Kind of like Apple’s famous “1984” ad, which also aired only once (though I saw it several times in a Master’s course on advertising at Ball State; we spent considerable time studying that ad).

Then there was Paul McCartney. It was simply a fun half-time show. Those old Beatles tunes really hold up well. I hoped he would end with “Freedom,” but I suspect he didn’t want to appear to be endorsing US and Brit military action in Iraq. Maybe. But that’s okay. I loved the songs he did.

So much for today’s deep spiritual insights.

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When Songs Retire

Our worship band practices on Thursday nights. This week, though, we devoted the time to hearing ideas for new songs. I’m of the opinion that we’re in a golden time of songwriting. Lots of great stuff is being written, at least in terms of worship music. When Anchor started in 1998, we were fully into the Maranatha stuff, a carry-over from our previous church. Then we discovered the Passion movement and fell in love with those great new songs, like “We Fall Down,” “Once Again,” “You are My King,” “We Wanna See Jesus Lifted High,” and so many others. We still do many of them. The Passion music fits our style–live, guitar-driven, as opposed to the studio-composed and brass-section-enhanced stuff from Maranatha and elsewhere.

Wonderful new music continues arriving from various directions, including from several members of our own worship team, who have been writing superb stuff for the past couple of years. I’m a professional writer, but I can’t get the hang of writing music. But our two guitarists and worship leader have “it.” Our previous worship leader wrote a song called “Great Faith” which we still do; people have asked us, “Who performs that song? I really like it.”

Our repertoire of songs has grown very large, and my master notebook–the biggest notebook I could find, a black monster–is beyond full. So in preparation for Thursday, I not only brought several new songs to the group. I also compiled a list of 25 songs I thought we should retire. Maybe we just don’t do them much anymore. Maybe they no longer fit our style. Or maybe I just don’t, personally, like them. Anyway, they approved the whole list. Rather enthusiastically, in fact. And now I can remove them from my notebook.

My list included these songs: “Above All,” “Almighty,” ” “Awesome God,” “Beyond Belief,” “The Cross has said it all,” “God is the strength of my heart,” “Happy Song,” ” I will sing of the mercies of the Lord,” ” Lord Reign in Me,” “Prepare the Way,” “There’s a Place,” “”You are the fire,” and various others. Including six songs with a Jewish beat that, only a few years ago, were fun to do, but which no longer fit our style. Songs like “I will celebrate,” “Jehovah Jireh,” and “The God of Israel is Mighty.”

Lots of still-good songs there. But we’d rather move on to new stuff.

It makes me think of all the songs from previous eras of my life that have been “retired,” so to speak. That I no longer hear in ANY context. In junior high, I thought “He’s Everything to Me” was just the coolest song ever. I think we could pull it out and do it, and it would still work well. But we won’t. That song is history. In high school, I had a book–just cord charts–of a whole bunch of Ralph Carmichael songs. I played those all the time. Can’t even remember the titles off-hand, now, but we used to sing many of them in our youth group.

Then there’s “Pass It On,” kind of a legendary song. I wonder if it could be revived? You really need to sing it around a campfire, I guess. That’s the perfect environment for it. “Soon and Very Soon,” “Greater is He that is In Me, “Because He lives”–those are a few others from my earlier eras.

Of course, we pretty much retired our whole hymnal. We still do hymns occasionally, but not very often. We should probably do them more. But frankly, the world has moved on. Yes, they are good songs. But I’m sure those hymns are contemporaries of lots of other great songs that never got put in the hymnal, and therefore faded into oblivion. Just because a song got put in a hymnal doesn’t make it extra spiritual or enduring.

As for new songs: we compiled a list of about 20. Good songs. I contributed two Newsboys titles: “Presence,” and “It is You.” I love the Newsboys. We practiced four new songs that night, just to give them a try. “Presence” and “It is You” were two of them, since I had developed cord charts for them. Then we did “Grace Like Rain” (Todd Agnew?) and one other song whose title escapes me right now. I played it by ear. It was fairly easy, and fun to do. We’ll work those four songs in over the next couple of months, I imagine.

The world moves on. Songs get left behind. Such is life.

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The Confidence of Gen-Xers

I’ve always assumed that the more emotionally healthy people come from two-parent homes. People like me. I figured we two-parent kids, especially those of us who had stay-at-home moms, are the more confident, self-reliant ones.

So it was a bit disenchanting to read the article “Battle Lessons” in the January 17 New Yorker. The article talks about how officers in Iraq get the information they need, and focused a lot on protected websites and discussion boards they are using to share information. It was quite interesting. But the thing I’m referring to was just one paragraph early in the article. It talked about the ability of platoon and company commanders to take initiative and show creativity in unusual circumstances, noting that today’s Gen-X officers are proving far less rigid than officers of the baby boom (my) generation.

The article says Gen-X officers,often from single-parent homes or homes where both parents worked, “are markedly more self-reliant and confident of their abilities than their baby-boomer superiors.” That’s what Army surveys show. It also noted that Gen-Xers are “notoriously unimpressed by rank,” which Don Rumsfield discovered during that famous Q&A session with the troops. The Gen-Xers also, having grown up with the internet, find ways to network with their peers of equal rank without going through the chain of command, thereby getting information faster and from people actually doing it (rather than someone sitting at a desk at some military HQ).

The whole thing about single-parent kids and double-income-parent kids being more confident and self-reliant: it makes absolute sense, when you think about it. They had to fend for themselves, often. When problems arose, they couldn’t run to Mommy and Daddy, but had to figure things out on their own. So they gained confidence in their ability to take initiative and devise solutions. I never really had to do that, at least not until I headed off to college. Even now, I can still “run” to my parents. When one of them dies, I’ll discover a gaping hole in my life.

So I’m thinking–how does this apply to the local church? I suppose Barna has written a few books on this. I’m going to play Totally Amateur Church Growth Guy and dispense some pseudo-wisdomish implications.

1. We baby boomers are big on training, like church growth conferences and multi-year disicpleship courses in preparation for ministry and leadership. Maybe the Gen-Xers don’t need that. Give them a ministry situation and authority to act, and they can muster up the initiative and creative energy to make it work on their own. Not that training is bad. But why not unleash the “unprepared,” and let them learn on the job? Don’t under-estimate them.

2. People want input. We’ve known this for years, so it’s no big revelation. But if Gen-Xers aren’t so impressed with authority, and do have confidence in themselves, they won’t be as apt to stand at attention and salute decisions coming from the pastor or board. Top-down stuff will be questioned. Of course, we baby boomers started that ball rolling, since so many of us have as much or more education than the pastor. In earlier days, when the pastor was often the most-educated person in the congregation, people looked to him for answers. But now, even if the pastor has multiple doctorates, they won’t necessarily be impressed.

3. Gen-Xers will want to draw information from their peers, persons who also serve on the front lines, even if it’s in a totally different theater of action (like a different denomination). And with the internet, they have the know-how, plus the built-in initiative, to find answers on their own. Today’s volunteers won’t necessarily run to the pastor with questions for which he may only be able to provide a canned answer (like how to run a worship team, how to deal with a suicidal youth, etc.). The information they need is out there, and they know how to find it.

It kind of makes me look differently at some of the young people in my congregation, people who may not have the advantage of college education, and who I may underestimate because they come from “troubled” family situations. It may be that these people have enormous untapped potential. As the Army is learning.

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The Body Torn

Since just after Christmas, I’ve been dealing with the impending divorce of two of my best friends in the church. They’ve been there since the church started in 1998, and we’ve spent a lot of time together. I think the world of both of them. But things happen in this fallen world. They’re getting a divorce. He’ll stay in the church, she’ll make her way elsewhere. He’ll be okay; he’s surrounded by supportive friends. I’m worried about her.

This is tough stuff. We’ve had other divorces in the church, but not with a prominent couple who have influenced many others in the congregation.

This morning, we announced it to the congregation. People hadn’t yet started whispering, “Is something happening with…?” But it soon would, so we needed to go public. Before the gossip machine started up. He read a statement to the congregation; Pastor Tim worked it into his sermon beautifully. My friend wanted to get this out in the open, so he could stop hedging and making excuses and avoiding situations where it might come up. It was a simple statement, devoid of the understandable anger which I have seen in force. He did well, and I’m proud of him. It was a necessary thing for our congregation to hear.

But what will happen with his ex? I desperately hope, and pray, that sometime in the future she finds herself once again among a loving and accepting group of Christians, able to use her substantial gifts as part of a healthy local church body. But I know I won’t be involved in seeing that happen. I’ll have to entrust her to God, confident that God will find the right place to get her plugged back in. This is a good person. Restoration can happen, and she has experienced far too much of God’s presence in her life to abandon it all. She’ll find her way back, eventually. But much territory needs to be covered before restoration–and healing–can occur. It’s territory that needs to be covered. I’d like to help her walk that journey, but I can’t. I know God will find just the right person, the right group of Christians, the right church. It’ll happen.

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My Wife’s Reading Obsession

Back in the mid-1980s, when Pam and I were dating (for 5 years!), I started a goal of reading 52 books a year. One per week. I got the idea from something I read. Pam adopted the goal, too.

I reached that goal for seven or eight years. It was kind of a contest between Pam and me, to see who would end the year with the most books. Back then, I usually ended the year by going to see my parents in Arizona, so it wouldn’t be until I returned that Pam and I could compare lists and declare a winner. I think I won just one year, with around 85 books to her 84, or something like that.

But then came a year when, in June, Pam hit 52. I mentioned the idea of her ending the year with 104 books, and expressed doubt that it could happen. She rose to the challenge and did it–104 books read in one year. Now, Pam isn’t a skimmer. I tend to skim, but Pam reads every word. She’s just very very fast. And it’s why, sometime during the early years of our marriage, I gave up on the 52-a-year goal. I guess I was just demoralized with the realization that I was seriously out-classed.

But Pam hasn’t quit. She has continued meeting her goal every year. And in 2004, she outdid herself again. She ended the year with 110 books read. A good share of them were Christian fiction. That’s what she mostly reads. That and various secular mysteries (especially medical mysteries, a la Robin Cook and Michael Palmer).

Very recently, the blogger at Bemuseme, one of my favorite Christian blogs, wrote about the book The Red Tent. It’s a book about the women around Jacob, writen from the point of view of Dinah by a modern-day Jewish woman. I read the book in 2002, and it was the best book I read that year. I’ve trumpted The Red Tent around a number of people. I felt I learned as much about Jacob’s world from that book as I did from a lifetime of Sunday school classes.

Bemuseme talks about how we Christians like to tie up all the loose ends. The post I’m talking about is located here. It’s a wonderful little essay. He writes, “Judging by what I’ve observed, evangelical authors would not carefully craft a story rich with ambiguity and wonder, love and betrayal, drama and passion. Instead, if recently successful Christian fiction is any indication, our version of Dinah’s tale would be stale, heavy-handed, preachy and poorly-written.”

He gives an example from his own life. “I believe God hates divorce, and that it’s rarely if ever what God wants. But how do I reconcile that conviction with this fact from my life: if my wife’s parents had never divorced, I would likely never have met her? What am I to make of that?… What theological construct allows for both the wrongness of their divorce and the rightness of our marriage?” Isn’t that a great conundrum?

Bemuseme just raises some great questions, and comments far beyond what I’ve extracted. I encourage you to take a look. It’s worth the journey. And while you’re at it, read some of his other stuff. He’s good.

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The Waitress and the Elders

Once a month, the elders meet with Pastor Tim at the Liberty Diner. There are only two elders–me, and Russ, who was a year behind me in college. We were both part of the core group that left Emmanuel Community Church in 1998 to restart what is now Anchor Community Church (and was then called Third Street Church). There were about 30 people in that original group. Some went back to Emmanuel (having fulfilled their short-term commitments), and some moved out of the area entirely. Only a few couples are left. Me and Pam, along with Russ and his family, always pretty much intended to stay.

The Liberty Diner is blessed with a waitress named Wendy who has a Master’s Degree in Sassiness. We’ve been meeting at Liberty for about four years now, and she’s been there the whole time. She’s 50-something, been divorced, has kids, and wields a very sharp wit. Lots and lots of fun. She never fails to make me laugh. I think she gets in trouble with the management for talking to us too much.

It’s been kind of fun watching her spiritual journey over that time. We’ve been a good influence on her. She’s told about getting back into church, always with amusing observations of church life. One time, she showed up at Anchor (having been prodded by us to do so for many months), and she enjoyed it. We always pray (of course!) before eating our breakfast. One time Wendy was standing there, and Tim asked her to pray for our meal. I’ll bet you’ve not seen that happen before–the waitress praying for the patrons’ meals. She offered a marvelous prayer.

I don’t know what all is going on in Wendy’s life, but I’m confident that we either awakened or reinforced a relationship with Christ that had gone dead or dry. It’s nice to know that, as the three of us talk about our church, we’re also invading a little piece of the world.

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